I see a lot of posts also talking about “what can I do to get him/her to like me more,” or “Why won’t they reply to my messages,” or “Is there something wrong wrong with me…”. I think the old saying, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink it” is a really good analogy when it comes to love. Sometimes we are so caught up in doing the perfect moves to get the date to develop feelings for you, when in reality the choice is entirely up to them. When you present yourself to someone, you should be your 100% true-self, but also be the best self you can be. Obviously you don’t go to a date in sloppy attire, or not bathing because you want to show them your best self, and you don’t want to be lying about yourself to look better because in the end you won’t be able to maintain this fake image. I write this because I found myself in a situation where I have been going on dates with a girl I really like, I asked her to be my girlfriend but she said she wasn’t ready for a relationship and I was okay with that. I decided I would be her best friend. I choose to trust her, I want to believe she isn’t messaging other guys and trying to find love with someone else. At night I go stir crazy because I keep thinking maybe she is just trying to be nice and let me down softly. But the other morning she messaged me out of the blue, after we hadn’t talked for a couple days, and asked me if I was free. And I can’t tell you how happy I was to receive that message. I didn’t need to initiate the date, I didn’t need to be obsessive and check in on her every couple hours, I just left it up to trust that if I am my best self she will want to see me again. We hung out and she opened up to me about personal family stuff that was bothering her and that’s why she was so quiet. She also told me a lot of guys message her to hang out, but all those guys just want relationships or hook up. She asked me to hangout because she knows I respected her feelings on relationships and she feels a lot closer with me because of it and that only I could make her happy in these hard times. I won’t lie, I was really happy to hear that. I don’t need to call her my girlfriend, or get hugs and kisses. I really like just spending time with her and seeing her smile, and the fact she wants to spend time with me means the world to me. So I just keep respecting her and trying to brighten her day any way I can.
So I write this to let people know that when it comes to love, a lot of this stuff is out of our control. Love doesn’t take place in a vacuum. Work, family, money, etc. affects relationships in different ways. We need to understand that situations change and the only thing we can do is offer support. I truly believe if you are currently talking to someone, and you are feeling unsure of where it is going, just keep reminding yourself that you are being your best. And if they don’t appreciate you at your best, than they aren’t the one for you. There is no move to get any person you want, you need to be aware of the situation and try and make the best of it.