Did I (23F) disrespect my boyfriend (25M)? Am I expecting too much? What can I do? How else can I help him?

!TL;DR! Him and I have been together for 3 years now, right before Covid hit. Neither of us had jobs or driver’s license at the time, we didn’t really care about that because we were perfectly fine with public transportation. He’s an only child dealing with ADHD, Depression, past relationship trauma, constantly being told that he’s no good etc, from the women in his family. He has no father to help him, so he had to do everything around the house, he can physically take care of himself. During the lockdown he had a job with a friend of ours, his driver essentially, I was working with my brother(still am). Our friend switched jobs without telling my boyfriend, so he had to quit because he had no transportation to get there. That was two years ago, he hasn’t been able to land a job since because of the pandemic and lack of a drivers license.

We manage to meet up at his place through Uber and sometimes the bus. I would do most or majority of the payments, he would at least pay tip or pay his half in cash. I have the tendency to spoil the people I love most including myself, I use debit to avoid paying bills.

He’s still to this day, applying to a bunch of nearby places(mostly jobs that don’t deal with people), but the ones that accept him are far. So I keep telling him to apply for his license, I used to send him multiple jobs every other week, but he just didn’t want to do custom service or online jobs cuz his (gaming) laptop crashes every other day. He also has boat loads of tabs and windows open and doesn’t close any of them, because (of his ADHD) he just stays home playing video games, watching movies with his mom and applied to places. He says that he’s going to get his way at his own pace. I now have my drivers license but he’s not going for it his.

I have a job and now going to get my drivers tomorrow. I tell him again (after not saying anything for so long) to go for his license and he says he doesn’t have to worry about it yet, I worry about it and him every day. That pissed me off. So I went off on him thru the phone/text about how I want him to progress and be better and so we can be at the same pace. He replied how depressed and mad at himself that he can’t spoil me as much as I spoil him. I felt bad for being rude for rushing and disrespecting him. This is the second time we had this talk, we talked about how he makes me feel, how supportive he is no matter what, how he can help without money, he gave the ok to leave. But I didn’t want to, I saw his worth and his purpose, our relationship didn’t start with money, if I was jobless it wouldn’t matter. I still love him for his personality.
Now I disrespected him again, he said earlier December that he was gonna make me something for Christmas, I gave him time, I then asked him if he’s done, he kept asking me “why do you wanna know?” I just wanna know the progress. I j constantly overthink about people’s intentions, so I thought he was just saying that to get me to stop because he didn’t have anything. I messaged him that and he got offended I would assume that low. Turns out he’s almost done but since I keep asking he is close to throwing it away.
(Sorry everything’s out of order, witting was never my strong suit, neither was comprehension)

!EDIT!
My parents don’t like him cuz they caught us in the deed, he’ll come around my town if I want him to. He’s my first adult relationship, I’m a ride or die kind of person until he betrays it

Am i excepting too much from him now that I feel like I’m at a different level than he is? What do I do?