hi, basically what the titles says.
I (20f) have been talking to this guy (26m) around the end of october and i’ve started to really like him. While I don’t believe we are necessarily long distance , we live in two different cities (around roughly an hour away) and while we both are busy, he’s way more busy than I am. I work full time and also go to school full time and he’s an engineer who started his first “big boy” job not too long ago so he’s still trying to find the work life balance which is obviously understandable. We sometimes only see eachother once a week for short hours or twice a week not for long cause it’s usually after I get off work n he takes some time away from his work and by that time we’re both tired and barely want to do anything but just relax with eachother which sometimes makes me feel not necessarily good but even I get too tired to want to even go out. Also, being busy means barely texting or texting not v consistently throughout the day. He’s not much of a phone person if that makes sense and i’m always on my phone which are opposites.
At some point, I tried to end it and figured i’ll be better to single and it made me really sad because I really like this person and we’ve communicated and expressed what we can do to better things even though currently, it’s not much.
Some days, I understand and i’m even too tired to want to hold a conversation and other days it makes me feel some type of way lol.
I guess my question really is how do you “cope” with semi long distance and v busy partner and life?
1 comment
My opinion is that logistics fall under compatibility. If you guys cant see each other due to distance, work, etc. and you want to see him more then that is an incompatibility.
I’m not sure why you chose to pursue a relationship with this big obstacle, my recommendation would have been to find someone closer to you to begin with.
What can help with long distance though, is having a defined end date. Do you guys have plans to move in together at any point? When would that be? Could be easier to cope knowing this is just temporary until x date.
Otherwise, I would say things most likely won’t work out, don’t expect it to get suddenly better. If you are feeling it’s an issue now that feeling will likely just get stronger over time, especially as you get closer and want that intimacy.