We met in April 2022. He had gotten out of a toxic 2.5 year relationship in early 2022, so I understood his desire to take things slow and I saw no issue with that. Over the months, we’ve gone on numerous trips together (even out of the country), had countless sleepovers, met each other’s friends, even briefly met each other’s family members.
Yet, he hasn’t made it official still lol. We’re basically in a relationship, but he low key refuses to recognize that. It’s been almost 10 months. We both aren’t talking to other people, we only fuck each other, he doesn’t have time to entertain someone else anyway. When we’ve talked about it, he just says he isn’t ready to give me everything I deserve yet.
I just don’t know if he’s ever going to feel like he’s ready. This is the only issue we’ve ever had tbh. It makes me feel like he just isn’t sure about me still, which he says it’s not that, but how else am I supposed to feel lol. He tells me he’s never been this open and honest with someone before and that I helped him recover from his toxic relationship so it does sound like I mean something to the guy, but apparently not enough to make me his girlfriend lol. Each day that passes hurts me more and more because it makes me feel like the issue is me.
I just don’t know what to do about this. I don’t want to keep bringing it up and putting pressure on him to make me his gf bc that’s annoying and I don’t want to pressure him into doing it. Part of me wants to just leave because this could be a waste of time if he never comes around, but the relationship we have is so special to me that I don’t want to leave obviously.
So here I am on a Friday night asking the people of reddit for their advice on what I should do about this. Thank you in advance !
1 comment
I mean, this might be the “only issue” you’ve ever had, but it’s a pretty monumental issue. He also isn’t “low key” refusing to acknowledge that you’re in a relationship. He has explicitly told you that you’re not in one.
At the end of the day, communication is key. He says he’s not ready to give you everything you deserve. Fair enough, but have you asked what that means? Why isn’t he ready? What’s holding him back?
Your fear is coming off as needy and pressuring him. I think we can all logically understand that. But this is your life we’re talking about. You matter. What you want matters. It’d be one thing if you were a month in and freaking out. But you’re ten months in and you’ve essentially been blown off with vague answers. The unfortunate truth is that if he’s “not ready” now it really means that he’s decided that you’re not his future but he’s too much of a coward to be honest about it.
Now, obviously this is pure conjecture. I could certainly be completely wrong. But you need to talk about it and not let the conversation end until you get real answers. Good luck.