So after loooong weeks of arguments/communication in making my husband understand how his porn-watching (multiple times daily, constant lying, violent outbursts) negatively affect me and our marriage, he finally stopped watching porn…. well at least for now.
Now I found out that he’s been resorting to “NSFW” and “girl” categories on 9gag— both of which have sexual content but not full-on porn. I’ve communicated with him before that this is just as detrimental as going to Pornhub.
I’m aware that he most likely has a porn addiction so him cutting off porn for 2 weeks now is a huge progress. But idk what to feel about him resorting to 9gag. Is it still a progress bc he doesn’t watch full-on porn anymore? Or not really since he’s still giving himself the quick dopamine hits from softporn on 9gag? We’re honestly exhausted about this topic so idk what to do.
tl;dr: husband who has porn addiction, stops watching porn but goes to 9gag for nsfw.. is that progress at all? and not sure what to feel about it
8 comments
Don’t make excuses or stick up for him. This is just as bad as porn. He doesn’t get an award cuz he’s gone 2 weeks. He has a problem. He has an addiction.
The question is, what is he doing about his problem? This would be a deal breaker or relationship ender for me. He clearly doesn’t want to get help.
Can u live like this?
Honestly, if you can recall a moment when he wasnt watching poor as often what was happening then?
Porn is still porn. I mean if he’s weening his self off, it’s some kind of progress. The only thing is relapsing is bound to happen.
Do you believe he may want that same excitement in his life? Are you willing to experiment and have some intense and uncomfortable sessions with him even if it means having a 3 sum, swingers clubs, bdms, just some wild ass sex as a hobby and science experiment to see if it helps?
Why are you controlling him? If he wants to watch porn, he’s an adult and can. If it’s a deal breaker for you then leave.
Sounds like it’s very frustrating. I hope he recognizes the issue and gets some help. I’m so thankful I do not have a penis + mind of a man.
1. Watching porn is normal human activity, obviously in reasonable dose, not multiple times per day. However I would be far away from attaching violent outburst or lying to addiction of your husband.
2. Instead of complaining and arguing you should help him realize that he needs to seek help, to go to therapy.
Is he undergoing therapy with a professional? Porn addiction is just as bad as alcohol or drugs and needs to be treated by a professional.
If he isn’t, i strongly suggest leaving unless he takes concrete steps to get better.
What does violent outbursts have to do with porn?
Also, what exactly do you have a problem with? That he watches porn or that he masturbates? Would you be okay if he masturbated the same amount so long as he isn’t watching porn?
I’d be more concerned about the violent outbursts.