I thought this would be an interesting question to get an honest, anonymous view from managers who may have done this before or maybe regularly. What motivates it or causes it? Is it intentional or accidental?
I’ve worked for about 12 years now in finance and although I’ve had quite a few direct reports I’ve never managed a big team. I’ve had probably 50 bosses, now I know that seems a lot but I spent 5 years as a junior/relatively junior grinder in an investment bank where you’re part of a pooled resource and you work for tons of different people over the years. I’ve only had one boss I had a bad relationship with. Otherwise it’s all been civil. But, apart from one boss I had recently who was really great, every single boss I ever had has made the odd nasty comment in a meeting. For some, but not many, it’s a near daily occurrence, others it was a now and again thing. And some you’d never get it until one day bang there it is. Again, these were all civil relationships, where we got on mutually, but yet the nasty comment to make you feel bad was still part of their reportoire.
It just seems so pointless, with way more risk than reward for the boss. So could any managers who do this shine some light as to why? Is it to manipulate, to emotionally effect staff? Does it work? I’m genuinely interested, and not being judgmental about it.
I will be managing a larger team soon.
15 comments
Investment Banking might have something to do with it. As you know it’s a bit dog eat dog.
Seems simple.
Some people are rude. They aren’t all managers, but some are.
Such is life.
I can’t say this has been my experience at all in my sector (education). I’m a manager who never makes nasty comments about staff. Out of probably dozens of managers I know, I’ve only ever met one manager who did have a habit of saying some nasty things. He was reported immediately for it and called out on it every time.
In my general working life I’ve been everything from a dairy operative and a pub cleaner to managing cinemas and print refurbishing businesses. No easier way to say it than “People are Twats”. Give them an ounce of power and they get all giddy, forgetting who they are. Getting given their own office makes it intimately worse. Management recruited from lower roles are usually better, but yeah, I made the self employed call years ago precisely because of this. Get out, get doing for yourself.
Small penis syndrome. That’s all it is. They shit themselves when you bring your Union into the mix
My manager is horrible swears and screams in your face and gets his minions to back him up but behind his back they slag him off, he’s a nasty piece of work
They’re terrible people.
Insecurity.
Rudeness is a weak man’s imitation of strength.
Might be something to do with the working culture in your type of work if it’s the majority of bosses, but I have seen it myself from different managers over a range of roles and working environments, although I’ve never been in a management role myself.
Personally I just chalk it down to either they are just sort of self-centered people, and either don’t realise or maybe even care that their words might come across as down-putting or hurtful, or they are straight up selfish, rude and only out for themselves, and if that means making a fool of someone beneath them in front of their superiors for a bit of extra clout then so be it. The thing is that ruthless people with these traits are typically highly desired by companies in management roles, who want someone who will come in without emotion and do whatever they are told, that won’t buckle to feelings of humanity or sympathy towards their staff or anything silly like that. Obviously not all companies go for this sort of management style but I’ve seen it myself many a time.
Divide and Conquer, 10,000 years and still working like a charm.
It’s because some people are unpleasant and some are thick.
It has absolutely nothing at all to do with being a manager.
Could be jealousy. Could be drugs. Could be their wife is fucking their best mate. Could be the fact they have become jaded over the years of climbing the pole and get to the “top” and even in more debt and more poor when they started out because someone told them that’s what they needed to do. Could be they just hate you. Could be anything.
Most managers are completely out of their depth. Beneath the ‘in-control’ exterior they’re shitting themselves that they are going to be found out that they havn’t got a scooby what’s going on. Sometimes it leaks out.
If you remember this you can really mess with them.
I wouldn’t say I make snide comments but I’ve been known to be abrupt and a bit mean if I’m stressed and you push me.
I tell people this, if you come for me to ask a stupid question when I’m stressed and rushed – you’re likely to get an undue bollocking that I’ll later apologise for.
I am a cold unemotional sort mind, always have been. When I’m stressed I don’t have as much mental capacity to modify that behaviour for the sake of peoples feelings.