I am currently trying to make sense of male/female attraction and heartbreak and would like to hear from you guys.

Was there ever a girl you could not get over and were obsessed with for a long time? Why was that and what did they do that you could not forget them?

7 comments

  1. Honestly I don’t know, all I know is i liked everything about her. All the things that my other friends said they found annoying, I found cute.

  2. I don’t thinking obsession is about the person you’re obsessing is more about some personal ongoing issue that you haven’t been able to solve yet, if there wast that specific person it would definitely be someone else. It’s all about attachment issues, including limerence.

    The there is trauma, which is also linked to attachment issues. Some relationships can fuck you up enough that it feels like you always keep coming back to them mentally, because they still influence the way you behave in current relationships.

  3. Yeah, made a dick out of myself more than once chasing her. Hadn’t (and still haven’t) had so much chemistry with someone, ever, in general conversation, as well as joking around, and in bed too. A day with her felt like half an hour. No one’s ever made me feel so comfortable and happy in myself, yet made me want to better myself so much at the same time. We went from great friends, to strangers, to just friendly, to FWB, to friends, to FWB, to friends, to FWB, and so on and so forth for maybe 18 months. I wanted more, she didn’t. She claimed I was perfect, but she had mental health stuff she needed to sort out first, but I don’t know if I believe it.

    We don’t speak at all any more. I pushed away other girls cos I was so obsessed with her, got insanely jealous of other guys, dropped everything to see her. It turned into bitter resentment at the end, and took me a good few years to get over it. I’m pretty indifferent now. I’d probably say hey and have a chat if I saw her, but wouldn’t want to hang out. Makes you think we could be best friends now if we hadn’t fucked that first time. But hey, life goes on. Some fun memories, some painful memories, some what ifs. C’est la vie

  4. What causes obsession for me? Fuckin autism lmao I find something I like, I fixate on it, constantly think about it and go overboard every fuckin time.

  5. I think some people are predisposed to obsessive thoughts and behaviors. This would certainly fall in that category. You get stuck or fixated on a person, idea, goal, whatever and it becomes very difficult to move on. You just have tunnel vision for that one thing.

  6. The cause of obsession:

    A strong desire you have committed to indulge, regardless if its obtainable or not.

    It is created by a perceived opportunity. It may have been a real opportunity but the door closed at some point and the person is left wanting and cannot accept the reality of the circumstance.

  7. It ending over a misunderstanding that didn’t actually happen.

    It ending over something just not really worth ending a friendship over.

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