What is your story about forgiveness?

12 comments

1. I forgave my mom for years of childhood trauma I suffered due to her drug addiction…but not until after I realized she also was trying to recover from her own childhood trauma and literally did the best she could with what she was taught/learned/given.

2. I don’t see a reason to forgive unless there is remorse and changed behavior from the other party. Since that’s so rare, I’ve decided to embrace acceptance instead. Accept that they caused me pain, take any lessons I learned from that, and move on without them. I don’t need to subject myself to whatever happened before, again.

3. [deleted]

4. Something I learned about forgiveness: just because they’re ready to accept your forgiveness, does not mean you have to be ready to give it.

   Even if they’ve made steps to make amends, that doesn’t mean you HAVE to forgive them if you aren’t ready. Society really pushes this “well they’re TRYING!” narrative. Good for them! I really do, honestly, hope they can make the changes to not hurt someone else, but that doesn’t give them an automatic access to me or my forgiveness.

5. I think the big deal with forgiveness is the ability to give yourself some closure. I still find myself resenting people in my life because I never really forgave them, but I didn’t not forgive them, if that makes sense. The way I see it is there’s no right or easy answer, but forgiveness is not something that can be forced; if you try to force it you risk resenting people forever while not being able to justify it, primarily to yourself.

6. I’m over it. The people who have caused me the most harm in my life have never acknowledged that harm or shown remorse. Only one has even bothered to apologize, and only because she wanted something. I can move forward without forgiving. And not everyone deserves forgiveness, even if they are remorseful.

7. As far as forgiving others I don’t believe in it and think it’s mostly bullshit rooted in religions and pseudo self help nonsense that can actually be harmful to someone healing and progressing. As for forgiving myself I think it’s important and a critical part for moving forward for growth.

8. I was bullied by several girls at different times when I was at school. Years later, long after that had all stopped, one of them came to me and gave me a really sincere apology. She said she was really sorry for the way she’d treated me and explained that she’d acted that way because of how she was feeling about herself, not because there was anything wrong with me. I really appreciated how honest she was and I could tell (from that and from other small interactions we’d had) that she’d grown a lot and become a much better person. I let go of any lingering resentment and assured her it was OK and I didn’t hate her or anything like that. We’re not like, proper friends but we are on friendly terms and if I ever see her around I’ll always say hello.

   Moral of the story is that people can learn to be better, and just apologising and being honest about what happens can go along way. I’ll hold a grudge if I think someone is still shitty, but if they’ve moved on and grown out of their bad behaviour then I want to forgive them and spread the idea that you don’t have to be defined by your past mistakes

9. I’m working on it, but I’m trying to forgive myself for leaving my unhealthy relationship for a healthier relationship. I felt guilty and that I had “cheated”, but I left the second I realized I wasn’t in that relationship anymore. The guilt ate at me for getting into another relationship so soon after, but I didn’t do anything wrong.

10. my mom died 21 feb. i was with her in the hospital, she was administered the wrong drug and had a anaphylactic shock. she died in 2 minutes. at the time i screamed at the nurse she killed my mother. i later realize staying mad only made me feel more depressed. so i forgave her, its not that it will change what happened.

11. I don’t think I forgave my father. he gave me years of psychological damage from using 5 different drugs. if I see or know he’s in the same place as me, I panic. I forgave him but if I saw him I would cry.

12. Always forgive! Common misconception about forgiving vs making up. You can forgive someone and never speak to them again. Not forgiving causes you to hold on to hatred and pain which ends up hurting yourself more. Best way to beat someone is not care🫶🏻