Fiancé 21F wants a break from me 22M

My (22m) fiancé (21f), dating for 3, engaged for 7 months, have been pretty rocky the past little while. I’ve been working night shift and suffering from a condition that affects my mental health, physical health and sexual health (hypogonadism, testosterone deficiency).

Over these past few months I let it consume me and I fell into a spiral. Not gonna lie, my attention towards her dissipated. I stopped checking in on her, the sex wasn’t very frequent mainly because I can’t perform a lot because of my condition, which she holds against me very often. And I spent quite a bit of time playing games opposed to being with her, like 3 hours a day at most.

We still did shit together like go hit the gym, have dinner together; take out or in house. grocery shopping, cuddle, occasional sex we both seemed to enjoy. The house cleaning was 50/50. She always cooked, I’d do dishes. And we’d work in tandem to keep the apartment clean.

But the arguments we would have stemmed from stupid shit but would grow big and we would say hurtful things to one another. But the argument we had a few nights ago was pretty bad.

I tried to confide in her about my feelings, while we were cuddling in bed, and she told me she can’t fix things and I need to see a therapist. Which I found weird and insulted because she was always wanting me to open up to her? So I got annoyed and asked to be left alone for a little while and she grapples me like a hug and won’t let go. At this point, I’ve asked her to get off me and go away twice but she didn’t listen and I got overstimulated and grabbed her and pushed her off me. It wasn’t forceful enough to damage her but just enough to get her off me.

She got mad and said never to get physical with her. Which I know, I’d never dare hurt her… another verbal argument started we said our piece but I had to fuck around and find out. I called her worthless.

She left to stay with a friend for the last 48ish hours and her friend told her to dump me. But she told me she still loves me. She needs space, about one month or whenever she feels like she can come back.

I promised her I’d fix myself. I’m going to start by selling my video game consoles to help fund therapy. Video games never did much but put me in a salty mood anyways, and build myself back up to the man I hardly remember.

I love her so much, we went through so much together, built a somewhat decent life together in those three years.

Her and I both agreed we weren’t going to sleep with other people, that were “still together, just on break.”

Guys I know I’m an asshole, but I was never like this before.. I’m going to try my best to fix myself and try to pick up the pieces with her, if she’s willing of course. We’re non-contact until she’s ready to come back, if she comes back. I will not contact her. We had such a great thing until I spiraled into this shit storm and allowed it control me.

We were phenomenal beforehand, we still love each other but I went too far this time. I fucked up. I guess the question is are we worth saving after I get the help I need? I want to marry this woman. I love her.