Why does so many men in their twenties avoid relationships?

34 comments

1. They don’t, they just avoiding you

2. For me personally it’s because I wanna focus on myself right now lol

3. Because some folks want to enjoy their 20s before settling down

4. Just working on myself. I consider myself a well-rounded and intelligent guy, decently good looks and I enjoy working out so I’m fairly healthy. Aside from a lot of personal issues that prevent me from seeking out partners, I get a lot of joy in personal accomplishments. If I had to divide my time up, the time allotment for a partner would be much smaller than what most people would want. It’s also less of a headache since online dating is a crapshoot.

   The freedom of being able to work and live how I want to, travel the world how I want to and spend my free time how I want to outweighs the benefits of a committed and loving relationship at the moment. FWB’s allow people to live this life while still having consistent sex.

5. A relationship is extremely stressful and can easily get in thr way of career so they are put on the back burner until people are more established.

6. Their twenties is the time in which they finally are out of their parents rule and have relative freedom to explore the world around them, marriage, kids, relationships, all of that are huge compromises for which most men in their twenties (And even a lot in their earlt 30s) are not ready.

7. I’m broke and trying to fix mistakes I made when I was younger. Not against getting commited but usually the women I’ve encountered aren’t interested in someone who’s still getting their shit together.

8. To a young man, the appeal is—unaccountability to a single partner. Multiple sexual partners. No rules, limits, or boundaries. When you’re at your peak, hormonally speaking, it’s hard to be motivated by much else other than the instinctual. Spread the seed is a bit of a cliche but they don’t become cliches without their being a touch of truth behind it.

9. Sounds like it’s the type of men your friends are going after or accepting.

   Dating is kind of rough for everyone now. A big portion of single people of all genders aren’t looking for a long term relationship just because they’re ‘too busy’. People want to focus on their careers and/or education, ‘finding’ themselves, generaly get their life in order, etc.

   More single men than women are actually looking for long term relationship.

   [https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/nearly-half-of-u-s-adults-say-dating-has-gotten-harder-for-most-people-in-the-last-10-years/](https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/nearly-half-of-u-s-adults-say-dating-has-gotten-harder-for-most-people-in-the-last-10-years/)

   [https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2019/03/21/its-not-just-you-new-data-shows-more-than-half-young-people-america-dont-have-romantic-partner/](https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2019/03/21/its-not-just-you-new-data-shows-more-than-half-young-people-america-dont-have-romantic-partner/)

   [https://time.com/6104105/more-single-men-than-women/](https://time.com/6104105/more-single-men-than-women/)

10. I’m a woman and I think the 20’s are way too young to settle down. Those are you’re peak years, don’t waste them on one person. That’s how cheating happens.

    Edit: grammar

11. Well, idk about everyone else, but my buddy cited the higher divorce rates among people in their 20s as a big reason for him

12. Your friends are most likely, like most women on dating apps, trying to punch above their weight.

    Only swiping right on men who are 6’3+ male models making 6 figures? Then don’t be shocked that these dudes are happy to enjoy their harem.

13. You ever dated a girl in her twenties?

14. Bc having sex with different women is fun and at that age it’s more acceptable and also easier

15. Because I was told that for a woman to give you the time of day you have to be making over 100K a year. So went to college, and when that didn’t work out I enlisted in the Army and gave up any hope for a life long relationship.

16. I think there’s more of an emphasis now on “being ready” for relationships, marriage, kids, house ownership, etc. than there used to be. Their parents’ generation just jumped into those things because that’s what you did at any given age. Now a lot of kids are doing the math on those steps and going, “You know what, life’s better right here.” And with an increase in the accessibility of sex in friends with benefits situations, the reasons a young man might get into a relationship before he’s ready start fading away.

    Not to mention the gamification of dating through apps has created a bunch of other problems too.

17. Because most women in that same age range in the west today are not relationship/wife material.

18. An increasing number of people view relationships as an enormous and often bad investment in time and energy. You dont just have to be a decent person, being with you has to be so much better than than being single that you override both the immediate opportunity cost and the long term risk.

19. Less of a reason as women aren’t being held accountable. Hard to build when someone doesn’t want to be held accountable, ever, and expects everything in return for bad behaviour.

20. For me before meeting my current gf. Work didn’t allow serious relationships and it was 10x easier having a lot of friends with benefits than trying to maintain a relationship

21. Because more people are thinking about what they actually want, instead of just jumping into shit and regretting it. That’s men and women alike. There’s a shit ton of women who aren’t pursuing any kind of companionship. (They’re getting dogs instead. 😂) People are putting more thought into how much energy they want to give to another person and whether it’s the right time in their life for that.

22. Your friends are great to you, I guarantee most men could find something wrong with them and vice versa. A lot of guys just don’t want to bother anymore. Most women are not worth it now.

23. I don’t have anything to offer a woman so there’s no point in trying.

24. Look at the messaging guys hear every day. When you are single, you can laugh, shrug, and tell the world to go to hell. When you are in a relationship… You are inviting into your life some form of accountability to having to acquiesce to that messaging. I think its gotten to the point that guys just don’t want to sign up to that anymore… It doesnt have our wellfare in mind at all. And when we do… The degree to which we will sign up is a major vetting factor in who we choose.

25. A lot of women in their 20s are also doing their best to avoid relationships. When I was in my 20s, all I could find were women wanting to have sex without any attachment and move on. It was frustrating. If I was really lucky I would get a couple of months relationship out of it.

26. Well think about it what will a relationship give them that they are not already getting? To get in a relationship you need to deem it beneficial to you so if they are not getting into relationships some how they perceive at this time in their lives it doesn’t align with who they want to be.

27. Maybe some feel it’s not worth the effort when the next hook-up is always just another swipe, booty-call, or drunk-dial away.

28. Because no one wants to have a relationship with me. I’ve tried and tried but I’m just not worth it for anyone. Perhaps I’m just not meant for anyone so I just gave up. If I ever wanted sex or any kind of intimacy, I can just pay for it.

29. I think you have in your mind a certain type of relationship. People these days are holding out until later when it comes to things like marriage and children, and for good reason

30. 💸

31. There are many reason.

    For some they just want sex. They are not looking for a partner at the moment. Just because youre amazing does not mean someone should get with you.

    Others may be focused on working on themselves and their goals. They still want sex but not the distraction of commitments.

    And some are jaded men. They got so fucked over by girls they dont care to date and be with girls anymore.

32. A significant amount of women assume if a man wants sex early they dont want a relationship

33. Because they’re in their twenties and they probably don’t see it as necessary at their age. And they’re not necessarily wrong. Is it bad for your friends? Yup. But it’s their choice.

34. They’re not doing the in person work. They aren’t in clubs at school, church, volunteering, or doing much else but rat race and mentally recover over the weekend.

    And most women are expenses. If all you bring to the table is sex its all men are going to buy