Here’s a long story clipped extremely short: My (32m) ex (33f) who is also my best friend of 16 years, and I were in a relationship after she stayed with me in my 1 bedroom apartment for a year and a half after losing her place to live. We were only friends during that time and got into a relationship and engaged near the end. Arguments were a-plenty and it got to a point where I forced her to leave my place for my own sanity. Not to say some things weren’t my fault which I acknowledged.
She wound up at a guy’s place of whom she met on a dating app before we got together. She barely knew him and a few months after staying with him, was in a relationship. Things went sour there and instead of letting her live on the streets, I took her back in with conditions. I still love her to pieces but she feels burned and after 3 weeks we finally discussed the situation a bit. I want to try again and tried to be at least a little bit intimate with her but she’s wanting none of it.
So to respect her wishes and try and rebuild at least our friendship, how do I go about life at home while wanting her back in my bed, being intimate again, even just hanging out. I’m trying to respect both her and my boundaries but I keep slipping. Any advice?
1 comment
I don’t understand this woman’s pattern of moving in with guys and *then* getting into relationships with them. Seems reckless.
Also, you can’t live with her without wanting in her pants? Kinda shameless. Seems like you aren’t really seeing her as a human being in her own right. Focus about what makes you want to have her as a friend and *only* that and leave all the non-friend thoughts out of your brain.
And if you can’t do that, then kick her out. Find some way to support her other than in your own home. Help pay her rent until she gets her feet under her or something, if you care that much.