This girl I’ve been hanging out with is someone I really like. We have a lot of similar interests/traits (music, humor, videogames,style, personality, etc). We’ve hung out a couple times and it’s a little hard because we are both minors (I’m 16M she’s 17F) and her mom doesn’t let her hang out with guys she doesn’t know. But we’ve hung out at the park once and had some food (I brought some wetzels pretzels because she really liked pretzels). I also once asked if she wanted a ride to work (we work the same job) and she asked if we could hang out before hand if I were to pick her up. Obviously, I was down. We have plans on Friday to see puss in boots, and Sunday to hang out more before work. She said it would make her sad if we couldn’t see it this weekend
She’s very physically flirtatious at work, grabbing me in the hips and back before, and also verbally flirtatious. I’ve been flirtatious both physically and verbally back towards her. We’ve been friends since freshman year, but never really talked sophomore year, now talking again because she was interested in where I was working and wanted to work with me (we are servers for a restaurant located within a senior living home).
Whenever I’ve asked her to hang out she says she often responds with a “please”, and after today when we had lunch together she said we should do it again. The only time she can’t is if her mom won’t let her go. But whenever she actually has the time, she always says yes. So she clearly enjoys being around me. On days where we can’t hangout, we’ll text for a while. One good thing I notice is when we hangout, she’s very engaged. She (and I) both stay off our phones. I don’t have that kind of engagement with friends I’ve known all my life.
Now I know this is going to sound ridiculous to say, but I still don’t know if she’s actually into me. I am horrible with reading signs and telling if a girl is just being friendly or into me. I’ve been single all my life, still haven’t had my first kiss, and have been rejected 4 times, so I’m not very good at this.
However the true reasons I can’t tell if she’s into me is that 1. At first my buddy (who has known her for a while, and close friends) said at first she just wanted to lay in bed, which is what we will call it. He has asked her recently, and she is now actually interested in a relationship. I don’t know if her hanging out with me changed her perspective on that. 2. I have no way of telling if she’s just being friendly. On one hand, I can make her laugh (like really make her laugh), but on the other hand I notice she is just very easy to please. She seems to laugh at everyone’s jokes. 3. I’m just generally insecure and this could all be in my head, which is why I need some sort of outside perspective. 4. I’ve known women who are just flirty. It’s just their personality. She could just have a very flirtatious personality.
On Friday when we see puss in boots I plan on asking generally if she considers us dating or not. This way I can know for sure. But she’s the only thing on my mind recently, so it’s hard to be patient. And should I wait to ask if we are dating or just friends until we’ve been doing it for longer? I don’t want to ruin this by waiting (this was honestly the first time I’ve hung out with a girl one on one) But I don’t want to ruin it by being too sudden
I’ve tried filling this draft with as many details as possible so you guys can help me. Anyways if you read this far, thanks.
TLDR: this girl and I have very similar interests. She seems to be interested in me, asking if we can hangout before work, or in freetime. I really like her, but I don’t know if she’s being friendly or actually interested due to 1. Her wanting a short term “bedroom” relationship. (However this has come up later that this was untrue) 2. I’m not sure if I’m able to make her laugh is because she thinks I’m funny, or because she laughs at everything. 3. I’m insecure. 4. Some women just have a flirty personality and like to hangout with guys more so than girls. I plan on asking her if we are just friends on dating after our movie “date”, but is this a good idea? Should I wait or do it then?
2 comments
I think it’s worth asking her as there’s a solid chance she wants to be your girlfriend. It’s not guaranteed, but it never is.
From personal experience I can tell you that no matter how much a girl appears to be into you she can still pull out the ‘I just don’t see you that way’ card, so it’s wise to consider that she might not be. She is absolutely flirting with you deliberately though, but that also doesn’t necessarily mean that she actually wants a relationship (if she tries to tell you that it’s all in your head and she never flirted though, she’s lying).
It is worth a shot to ask but have to accept the answer.
Time is too short if she is not into you then you can move on without waiting for that long.
Do not worry much.