Been together 5 years. We bought a house a year ago, this part is important since we bought a home slightly outside of our range. I lost my job 5 months ago. I thought I’m in a good industry I’ll find something fast. I’ve found nothing. Even the biggest tech company who I was going to go work for again just laid off 10k people. During this time my partner left his job and found an incredible one, truly a dream job that pays really well. We’re not scraping by but we’re not saving a ton either.
I do house chores and I’m constantly looking for work. I even applied at every store in town even though I’d hate it. No one wants to hire me, I’m guessing my resume just looks too over qualified? Home Depot even said no lol. My partner told me to apply for unemployment and take my time finding the right job instead of taking something right away that doesn’t pay well/isn’t in my field.
For some background when we met I had a substantial amount in my savings $$$k. I never wanted or needed him financially. And because of my savings I was able to fully put real money down on our home. We both chipped in and he also used some of his stocks from his company. I made the terrible decision to put all of my money in.
Now onto the important part. Last night my partner yelled at me that I’m not doing anything. He also claims I am taking advantage of him. He also said some other very hurtful things like this was the worst thing he ever did – buying a home with me.
Am I really in the wrong for being unemployed even though it obviously stresses me out and this is the last situation I want to be in? I was literally secure and feeling safe every day before this house and loss of my job. Now I stress about money every moment and it’s all tied up in this home.
3 comments
Your bf is being wholly unreasonable. A partnership is meant be supportive of one another when in difficult circumstances
You are not sitting on your ass doing nothing. You try everything to find work again and do housework.
The reaction was just disgusting and disrespectful. In a partnership you support the other in hard times. Whst if you got ill and can’t work? Or get a child? He showed you what he thought of you: you are a leech in his eyes and he resents you for it. And don’t come with “he probably has stress in his work yadda yadda” that is no excuse to treat your partner like this.
Maybe think about if this is really what you want. A partnership that just is great if you are functioning. Not get unemployed, ill for a long time/disabled or pregnant. And even if you find work… you said his is paid great, so will he not call you a leech again if you don’t earn as much and he needs to pay more?
You’re not married, so je hasn’t committed to supporting you and for 5 months you have probably used savings but also some support from him too.
He can be frustrated but shouldn’t be yelling/mean to you about it.
Keep looking for work and maybe try to be more vocal about your efforts.