My international pen-pal friend and I decided to do an audio call after we’ve been writing to each other in an app for like 1 month. I was just quiet most of the time, not being able to form a single sentence without stuttering. Unlike her, talking out every thought in her head.
She said it’s fine, and she enjoyed it, but I think she just doesn’t wanna hurt my feelings. Now, she know how truly boring I am.
I thinks it’s worth noting that English is not my first language and it is her native.
I’m in very need for an advice.
12 comments
Nah someone who doesn’t have much to say and someone who constantly does can be a good combo. She already finds you interesting because you’ve already wrote to each other for some time. I think you just need time to get comfortable. In a conversation, worry about them rather than yourself, it will flow much better that way.
Not sure how much you can relate to my experience, but I am a very different person when I’m chatting than when I’m in a call or in a social place.
I am also a lot more awkward and quiet, but it does get better the more I talk to the same people and tend to open up. When I’m chatting, though, this happens faster as I have more time to think of what to say and less social pressure.
You two are friends and remained friends because you liked being pen pals, so even if she does think you are boring (which is most likely false) you still have that connection and continue writing to one another, you didn’t lose anything
When has anything on the first try ever gone perfect? If she’s talking to you and you don’t sense that she’s feeling awkward, shouldn’t that mean something to you? Keep going at it and you might just never know. And give things a try you can never determine where things might end up for you two…all the best though 😁
A serious bit of self reflection is required here.
She said it is fine, so is that not… fine?
It is ok to be insecure, but if it creates doubt in a relationship then it is an area that can be worked on.
One month is very quick for pen pals to jump to voice, and if there has been a misrepresentation of the language ability, then conversation will be harder than expected.
Also theres the whole text vs vocal situation.
You were there, you know whats up, try understanding the scenario.
Keep practicing
I talked with a native speak over a phone aswell sometimes. Im not usually a stutterer but its very hard to put your english in practice when spoken than when simply writing. I mostly listened and tried to say something when possible ;).
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Most people will know and appreaciate you trying and not beeing fluent in their language.
Dont be too harsh on yourself. You tried your best, I am sure you will improve
Sometimes just listening is just as amazing as an actual conversation. I bet she appreciates being able to talk about her life and just having someone to listen and take it all in, I feel like that’s a lost art these days. It will get easier, keep at it friend! 💖
Next time list topics to talk about beforehand
If You can mantain a yearr long relationship on that app, means youre not Boring at all, i Guess youre just shy, and probably she get that. Don’t think that she is not trying to hurt your feelings saying that it was ok, i’m sure she doesnt thinks youre Boring, cause she reply to You for an entire year.
Edit, was a month, My Bad, still, she reply to You everytime, she could have ghosted You and she didn’t, that means she found you interesting.
Lol as someone who is always talking i love someone who doesn’t and in fact will only date someone who doesn’t speak much. Its a nice energy balance and plus, its nice to be listened to
If you know you cant form a single sentence properly, why even entertain the idea of a phone call???