My whole life I’ve been romantically and sexually attracted to men, but lately I’ve realized that even if I have those “urges”, I don’t really like men that often in day to day life because of bad experiences or their character just doesn’t fit my emotional needs.
While with women its mostly infantuation and romantic interest, I’m not sure it I’d see myself sleeping with them but watching wlw stuff does turn me on. I have a lesbian friend and she has shown real interest in me to the point that my friends are joking about it all the time about how obvious it is. And at first I just found it sweet but how she treats me makes me feel so loved. I haven’t done anything physical with her or even talked about my feelings because I’m so unsure at the moment but she’s so “leading” and makes me feel cared for (while with men I’m scared it comes off as needy) she embraces that side of me.
But I’m scared that its mostly a selfish thing because if I imagine myself sleeping with her I mostly see myself as the receiver instead of like going down on her, so I don’t want to lead her on. This also proves that I’m romantically/emotionally more inclined towards girls but sexually/physically more towards men. So dating either one or the other feels like I’m being fake or unfair. Anyone with similar feelings or advice pls? 🙁
2 comments
You’re young, worry less about what “label” you fall under and just worry about finding out what works for you.
With this girl, just be honest from the start. Tell her how she makes you feel, and that you’re open to explore that, but you’re unsure about things sexually, and you wouldn’t want to disappoint her in that aspect.
Maybe things open up for you, or maybe you realize it can’t work. You can’t learn anything about yourself unless you allow yourself to experience new relationships.
you like her because shes safe
you like men but avoid them because men usually aren’t safe
i would genuinely avoid getting into anything with the lesbian friend unless willing to reciprocate, because its unfair to her if the relationship would be one sided
best bet for people in your situation is just hope someone comes along and ticks all the boxes i guess