I need some advice if I‘m overthinking or if this is a red flag. I‘m texting with a guy I met on tinder. He is really thoughtful & nice so far, but today he asked me to send him a full body photo out of the blue. I have one on my tinder profil & as my whatsapp pic. Is he trying to check out how big I am before meeting me? I told him that I am bigger (it‘s obvious in all the pics he has seen). He replied that he‘s happy with that „as long as it is healthy“… Well, I am healthy & happy with my body, but I don‘t know what to think about this. Any advice?
EDIT: I sent him a mirror pic I took ealier this week. He responded that I look good (I hope he‘s honest). I did ask him for a selfie & he sent one.
38 comments
He wants to make sure you’re not morbidly obese
If you are interested in this guy, just wear something cute and send him a full body picture of you. Have fun with it.
He could’ve been better with requesting the picture but hey, sometimes guys are not smooth with it…
He’s trying to verify you’re “still” the same size as your profile pics. Just something you have to deal with with OLD. Not a red flag by any means, it can and SHOULD go both ways. Good luck
Given that you already said you are larger….there is always the possibility he is into larger women and actually wants you larger…..
It is a legitimate request. He will see you eventually on a first date. If he isn’t attracted to you, you’ll both be totally wasting a valuable time slot.
Strange realities of online dating. From a guys perspective.. they know it’s off-putting/rude to ask for full body pic. However many women use filters and clever angles to mask unflattering things about themselves, so when daters meet in person, the guy feels duped, and it also feels gross to either end the date or ghost. So it’s kinda taking the least rude way to go into a date knowing the person they’re going to meet actually looks like their pic. There maybe better ways to handle it, but it removes the in-person let down
The same is true for women, but women tend to be less focused on the aesthetics and more on personality and emotional quality. Guys tend to be more aroused visually
EDIT: replaced ‘females’ with ‘women’ – didn’t know this was such a disliked word.
He doesn’t want to waste your time or his. I’ve been on dates where the full body pic turned out to be a few years old. It’s a huge letdown and waste of time. Yes he could have asked a better way, but it’s still worth it to do due diligence
I think he’s just trying to verify that you look like yourself when it’s in a picture that’s not super hot or from a very flattering angle. That’s not a red flag. It can say a lot about a person if they are dishonest on their dating profile
When a girl sent me her full body picture I could see her radiator curved as fuck, because she photoshopped her wide belly and ass. So yea it’s useful
Ask for one back to make sure it’s worth your time as well
With the amount of people hiding themselves behind filters and angles, especially on Tinder, it makes sense for him to be slightly interested. Send him one and ask for one of his.
There’s no point in going out if one of you isn’t physically attracted to the other. You’ll both waste your time.
“Guy asking for full body pic..”
“I have one on my tinder profil & as my whatsapp pic.”
It’s up to you but if your pictures online are accurate, you shouldn’t feel obligated to jump through anymore hoops in order to have a date. You shouldn’t have to keep sending photos.
Clearly, he’s trying to decide if you are attractive enough for him to invest his time meeting.
Don’t be a passenger in your own life. Take the wheel!
Let go of the “seller mentality” and adopt more of a “buyer mentality” yourself.
You are entitled to have your own mate selection screening process and *must haves list*.
You are entitled to have your own “red flags”, boundaries, and “deal breakers”.
If something *doesn’t feel right to you*, it’s probably *not right for you*.
***”Dating is primarily a numbers game…. People usually go through a lot of people to find good relationships. That’s just the way it is.”*** – Henry Cloud
Best wishes!
Easy way out, just do a video chat before the date. Not only will this break the ice nicely, it will see if your compatible or not. Going forward I’ll try to do this more.
As for the photo, I’ve been on dates with girls who have had sneaky photos and in person they were much bigger. Not only is this a let down it’s dishonest, if your portraying yourself honestly with your photos you have no worries at all. I don’t think a photo is necessary tbh, you don’t even know this dude he could be lying about his height or is socially awkward. Your the prize, if he doesn’t want to roll the dice and meet you it’s his loss.
I see posts like this all the time and want to say, if you’re happy the way you are, then why is it a problem for someone to ask for a full-body pic?
I put the my best foot forward with what reality looks like on OLD. If they ask for a pic then they won’t be surprised when they see you.
Ghost him bestie, unless you’d ask the same of a man
Sometimes pictures on dating sites are either incredibly doctored or fake.
I think the as long as it’s healthy comment is a bit weird. And in my personal experience, every guy who asked for body pics has been pretty awful in real life. I am considered a healthy weight and those men still comment on it. Even when it’s in a flattering way it seems shallow. Also lol at all the men who act like a woman not living up to their standard as being the most traumatic experience ever.
Ask for a close up of his hairline
I had a guy ask me to post a full body (clothed) photo when I first created my profile because I hadn’t uploaded one yet. So I went and had a friend take one of me with her dog. I don’t blame them for wanting to know what I look like.
I can understand if you had no full length pictures, but the fact you have multiple, and he still asking for more would be a turn off for me.
Maybe you can redirect him to your tinder profile where your pictures are, and let him know they’re recent.
There are a lot of pictures out there that are taken with creative use of angles In order to hide the little extra weight. Also, different people have different definition and understanding of what really is big. He may not have been tactful in asking for picture, but I see two outcomes and both would be good for you. Either he’d be a-okay with what he sees and then it would be one less thing on your mind. OR he may not be okay and that way, you both would avoid wasting any more time.
It’s not a red flag by any means.
A lot of people hide their current selves with old pictures or altered photos of themselves. Also some people want to be able to boast to their peers about the person they’re talking to.
Some people make 100% fake profiles to catfish people.
Imagine meeting the cutest guy online and he’s completely opposite of what the photos you seen. That’s why people tend to ask.
Typically one of the things I’ve seen people do is that they will have a set of pictures that they can share.
This should be enough to let the other person know and see if they want to continue talking to you and eventually ask you for a date.
You don’t have to keep sending them more and more pictures just because they’re asking for it but basically you have a set of pictures that you’re comfortable sharing whether that’s face shots or body shots or even just you doing candid stuff around town but you’re sharing those photos with the people you meet online to validate yourself as well as to just kind of give him some more to go on than the couple of profile pictures you do have on your dating page.
It’s not unreasonable to ask for it it’s not unreasonable to provide it but it really depends on how comfortable you are as well.
In this case the guy didn’t seem to have any lead up to asking for your photos he just suddenly blurted it out and somehow that has made your gut feeling go off about something being weird
So you might listen to that as well and decide that you don’t want to give him those pictures after all
Major red flag. The fact that you thought to post the question means it didn’t sit right with you. List to your gut.
I’m willing to bet money that at some point he’ll try to make you lose weight
The same question has been asked here and I have the same answer…I don’t like people asking people on dating apps for more information on their appearance. I get where they’re coming from in that you don’t want to be catfished and want to make sure you’re physically attracted to this person, but it just seems rude and yucky. To me, if you’re not attracted to someone based off of their photos or there is not enough information to tell, swipe left and move on. Don’t make them match with you then open a conversation making them *explain themselves* about what they look like. Same goes if you messaged a guy about his height. If height is a deal-breaker and he looks short, don’t waste his time.
Edit: After reading the other comments I agree that it kind of goes both ways…people should include recent, full-body photos in their profiles to begin with just so everything’s clear and they don’t feel the need to question you.
Do you though.
This isn’t Married at First Sight. He can ask you out and make his mind after without insulting you and wasting your time. Unmatch!
I hate online dating. It just feels so sterile to me
First mistake is asking for a full pic of you. If he wanted to see you, he should’ve just asked you on a date.
And if he didn’t want to spend a lot, there are cheap date ideas out there. After the 1st date he can decide if he wants to pursue you further, vice versa.
His attitude of ‘as long as it’s healthy’ is the red flag btw, not the question for a full body. Personally, I find it rude. You want to see me, ask me out. However I know some people lack the experience in dating. And besides Who decides what is healthy? Him? You? Your doctor?
Not sure how long yall have been texting . If it’s been over a week. Some point yall should meet up. I wouldn’t wait any longer than that.
I learned here that weight means A LOT for some men, to really scary dehumanizing points. Some men literally won’t see us as humans that will eventually get old/out of shape and neither understand how used women can feel by their weird dating /with a clear expiration date on mind/ so I’ll be careful, especially since you already have some full body pics (there’s even a weirdo on most of the comments fighting for his life in here to make it seem normal and healthy 😭).
Those guys aren’t honest about the “I’ll leave you in a blink if you get fat/sick/old” so at least as a personal choice I no longer post pictures of my body to avoid them, it is a natural filter lol
But yeah, you’re going to work hard to figure if he’s a good investment, no one wants to get cheated on with a 18y/o when you’re barely on your 40’s 😭
Ask him for one too
I have lost count of the number of women i have seen from tinder who have used profile photos which are at least 7 years and 30 pounds ago.
On occasion, I literally do not recognise the woman at all when she arrives at the date.
This guy has the right to know what you actually look like NOW. Its not a red flag at all.
So he wants to know how fat you are? If you are a big girl he isn’t the one for you. I am also a big girl and there is nothing wrong with that. With that being said your dating profile needs to be an honest representation of how you look irl. Post many full body pics. Face pics with not filters as well. I even posted myself in a bikini when I used dating apps. I did this because I had the confidence to date as my true self. There will be men that aren’t attracted to you because you are big but wouldn’t you rather those men know instead of them humiliating you irl when they see you? He literally sounds like he doesn’t find big girls attractive so stop stringing him along with flattering angles. Post your full body at full view so you can have a connection with someone who is attracted to you.
I put a full length pic on my Tinder profile for this reason. Surprised me when this guy I had been talking to for 3 months (we met 8 mo later) asked for a full body mirror pic esp because we had video chatted & I sent him backside pics on snap but from a flattering angle. I wonder if it was for verification, or because he wanted a full pic of me. I did because he had snapped me 100s of full body videos.
Personally when online dating I’ve asked for stuff like that but only when I’m genuinely interested and I think they’re very attractive so I want to see photos of them
I just had some girl over off tinder and she’d very clearly put on a decent amount of weight since her photos were taken. It’s not the end of the world or anything but I think that’s pretty common, especially if people have put on “covid weight”. My guess is he’s just double checking you’re still the same size as in your tinder photos.
I think he wants to see that u are telling the truth
Why don’t you say “hey I’ll send one if you do, so we both can make sure we aren’t catfished”
A way to avoid this kind of situation is ask to facetime first before meeting to see if you vibe and if you’re attracted to the person behind the screen. If you aren’t feeling it during facetime, you can avoid wasting each other’s time and go your seperate ways.