So i (17F) and my bf (17M) recently started dating and its a first relationship for both of us and i have discovered a lot of my sexual wants because of him.
Earlier i used to be that type of person who was rather disgusted by sex and i swore if i ever even got in a relationship i would never get into that type of physical intimacy. These thoughts came from just being afraid to show my body to my partner as ive been made ashamed of my body from my family and relatives for as long as i remember (im just a bit chubby). But he has seen me naked and never makes me feel insecure about my body instead makes me feel like the prettiest girl in the world.
Anyways, so my lack of interest in sex lead to me never watching porn, im only ever comfortable reading hentai. Im still not very interested in watching porn, i feel its a bit too graphic for me.
The most me and bf have done till now is him fingering me, but the next time we meet i really want to initiate and make him feel good. I feel like ill be fine looking and touching his dick irl, im rather excited to touch him.
So any tips ud give to a first timer, and some precautions? I wouldnt want to accidentally hurt him. I know i cant be super good doing it for the first time, but ill do anything so he doesnt ever forget that day.
5 comments
Porn doesn’t have to be “graphic.” Search for homemade porn—it is a lot less intimidating and graphic. If a normal, homemade porn blowjob is too much for you, I would rethink giving one just yet.
Oral sex is very “up in your business” and it’s okay to not be ready…for any of it. If you’re not ready, don’t let him pressure you into something you don’t want to do.
My girlfriend was similarly really a rookie to this stuff before she met me (19 M, she’s a bit older). Had relationships and done a lot of kissing and making out, but next to no sexual experience. Best thing you can do, ask him what he wants. The first time my girlfriend ever tried to give me a blowjob, while it felt great for the time it lasted (not long), she didn’t know what she was in for and her gag reflex kicked in and just in general she never really asked what she should do. He may not know either, but if you want to have some fun, try various things and ask him what he thinks of them. And *both* of you need to be ready to accept that there will be things you can’t do (especially as someone with no experience) and that’s okay. The last time my girlfriend tried to give me oral, she tried to give me a “full length” blowjob but she couldn’t because her gag reflex is too strong, and she got really upset because of it. I gave her some ideas of other things that felt good and ways I could still be satisfied and ultimately was that wouldn’t completely choke her. Work around things you may not be able to do and start small, no pun intended
Just start by touching him first. You don’t have to get right down to a BJ straight away. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with hand jobs and mutual masturbation. Get comfortable touching and looking at his penis , and ask him what feels good.
You can slowly start to incorporate licking and kissing his penis while also touching him (or quickly incorporate it) when you’re comfortable and you’re curious. You don’t need to watch porn to get ideas, there are articles all over the place. Don’t rush yourself, and don’t feel like you need to be perfect at it your first time.
A publisher called Nerve published a really good book called the “big bang” geared towards young adults of all experience levels. Honestly it’s excellent and every young person should have it at their disposal.
When exploring oral for the first time, take your time. Lick, kiss, feel the ridges, map out his dick with your tongue. Explore his balls as well. There’s no reason to try to swallow it whole as soon as you get your mouth close to it. Gently wrap your lips around the head, use your tongue too. As you get comfortable, take more in your mouth, stroking and sucking it.
Decide ahead of time how he will finish. When he gets close, he may not be very coherent or able to stop! Use your hand and watch him cum. Suck til he cums, then spit or swallow. All are valid, but I recommend you have a plan, even if you change your mind and do something else.
You need feedback from him on what feels best. Everyone is different, so there’s no way for me or anyone to predict exactly what you can do that really works for him. It’s a new experience, so exploring and experimenting are the only way to figure it out.
The same general advice works for him going down on you too. He’ll need to try everything to figure out what you like done to you. Communication and feedback is key.
As another comment said, take some time touching it and look at it. Have him show you how he likes to touch himself. And then follow this guide I [wrote](https://www.reddit.com/r/eroticliterature/comments/ooy3ud/basic_blowjob_howto_mf/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf).