A question about the confidence and the flow in a social setting.

There’s usually that one person in a group of people who just goes about doing things he/she likes almost every single time. And as a given people just follow them. This is usually true in case of teenagers with a very high confidence level, or with adults with a good reputation or a charming attitude and a few other reasons.

What I wonder about is, does it ever happen with these particular individuals, that sometime even a simple and relevant request of help in the context of day to day life is rejected by someone who is a part of that group but isn’t that ‘popular’. Also, someone who has been asked this, how do you avoid complying?

I have seen as well as experienced a fair share of being asked to do things, in a tone that’s almost commanding, from someone who I am literally not obliged to do anything for. But sometimes I end up doing it just because the other people they ask do what they are asked. It’s always simple things, like in case of planning a dinner at a restaurant, tasked with choosing the restaurant and calling up everyone while they wait for us to do it. I still end up doing all of it, because I genuinely enjoy the time together with everyone.

I understand I can always separate myself from such people, especially those who are literally not willing to volunteer to do anything in a group but still want to reap the rewards. But rebelling or doing anything extreme has never been a good option. It was always seen as unbecoming and I have lost friends due to this. I don’t want to anymore, so I need help in dealing with them in an appropriate manner. Please advice me regarding this.