I was walking with my girlfriend late at night after a movie and the short version is we had to walk through a long string of empty parking lots in the dark.
I made an offhanded comment about how we should be careful as their might be someone out in this creepy parking lot who would mug us. I told her I would protect her and she said “what the fuck are you gunna do about it?” implying I’m not masculine enough/not a fighter/couldn’t protect her, etc.
Not gunna lie it hurt my feelings pretty bad, I’ve put in a lot of work in trying to look/appear more masculine and confident. I’m in the gym and putting on size, stuff like that and it really made me feel like all my time spent towards that goal was wasted or i haven’t really improved.
I told her it hurt my feelings to have my masculinity insulted like that and she apologized but its gunna stick with me I think
How do you usually handle it when your partner hits you in a personal/sore spot and hurts your feelings?
12 comments
First off, don’t be too hard on yourself. Everyone has moments where their confidence is shaken and it’s totally normal to feel hurt or angry in such a situation.
When it comes to handling it, it’s important to be honest and open about how you feel. Expressing your feelings can be difficult, but it’s important to be able to communicate with each other. Your girlfriend may not have meant it the way it came out, and it’s important to communicate that to her.
Once you’ve expressed how you feel, it might be helpful to talk openly about the issue and how you both can work together to avoid similar situations in the future. Make sure to point out the issues, but also focus on solutions that can help both of you.
I’d say just tell them this hurts your feelings. Maybe she meant it as a joke or in a light-hearted way, but communicating that to her is how you’ll resolve this.
Honestly your comment came off weird to me. Like on some cocky “If I wasn’t here, you’d be unsafe and kinda screwed”, she probably felt weird about it too hence the response. She apologized anyways, move on. Stop making unnecessary comments.
Bottom line is you are who you are and you should be proud of who you are no matter what anyone says. Don’t change a single thing about yourself unless you personally desire to grow into a better version of yourself. Not morph into whatever someone else wants you to be.
Someone who cuts you down like that is no friend to you. I would make it very clear that you identify that statement as an attack that could not possibly come from a loving place.
Carry mace. If a woman said that to me I’d pull out that mase so fast it would make her head spin. She’ll never question her safety with you again if she knows you are carrying.
She’s right tho. What are you going to do? The image people have in their head of oh I’ll defend, oh I’ll protect, I’ll beat some ass, I’ll drop some Jackie Chan shit and disarm so and so, I’ll John wick this mfer, isn’t what’s going to happen. 99% of these images people have of their abilities to defend/protect is complete delusions. Might of hurt your feelings but she’s right, wtf you going do?
You can train to fight, you can train in firearms, you can train in other self defense practices but in the real world they don’t mean as much as you think and you’re not as good as you think
When people hurt your feelings, immediately hurt their feelings back and hurt them worse so they learn to stop hurting your feelings.
I feel bad and get quiet
Next time be like “I’ll die distracting them, you can jump in or run…. On second thought just give them your wallet, I’ll pretend I do t have mine.” 😁
I can get my feelings hurt completely separate from my SOs intentions. You need to work it out within you and figure yourself out. No one can really answer this for you.
Buuuut maybe just think about it and come up with a solid plan on if a mugging happens.
Contrary to widespread belief, the purpose of a man accompanying a woman through an insecure area is not that he could fend off a potential attacker.
The real purpose of having a man by your side is so he can serve as cannon fodder for the attacker, giving the woman time to escape.
I bottle that shit up and not worry about it. Its normal.
Practice naruto hand signs in the mirror