Met a woman after a previous long and toxic relationship. We hit it off immediately, but I wasn’t completely ready to date again. After 2 months of seeing each other she all of a sudden got distant. After finally hanging out again she said that we shouldn’t see each other anymore because she wanted something serious and I needed more time. I wanted so bad to tell her that I wanted to be committed to her, but it felt like someone had glued my mouth shut. Like I was supposed to let her go, or I was just still traumatized from my previous relationship and terrified of talking about my feelings. Idk, maybe both.
3 days later I text her asking if we can talk, and that I do want a relationship with her. She says no, and that the truth is she went on a date with someone who she felt a connection with who also wanted a relationship right off the bat. And that if they ever didn’t work out we could try again. I have a feeling it was her ex based on some things she had said previously. But I’m not sure.
It’s been almost 3 months since we last saw each other. Went two months without any contact, just watching each other’s stories.
2 weeks ago she replied to one of my stories of a song I was working on saying: “YESSSSSS!!! KEEP IT UP!!! 🙏🙏🙏” (I’ve been trying to become a music producer, something I was just starting when we were seeing each other). I just replied with “Thank you!!! I promise I will. 😊”.
But, I wanted so badly to add to that reply with “I just want you to know that I still think about you all the time, and that I hope you’re doing well”. I asked a bunch of people if that was the right move, and the general consensus (along with my gut feeling) said to wait. Plus I didn’t want to appear as if I’m trying to interfere with the relationship she’s currently in, nor did I want her to think I was looking for a response. I legitimately just wanted her to know that I wasn’t over her.
Now I have this terrible fear that my lack of admittance of still having feelings for her may have given her the impression that I’m over her. But that couldn’t be far from the truth. I’ve never felt anything close to this for anyone in my entire life, and I’ve been in quite a few relationships. I’ve never felt so tethered to someone, like we were always supposed to meet, and even supposed to split, and that I’ll see her again. But it’s so hard to accept that it should probably be her that reaches out when she’s ready, instead of me trying to force things. I just don’t know if her responding to my story was her fishing for me to say something more than what I did. It absolutely fucking crushes me to think that she might think I moved on, won’t reach out, and finds someone else.
TLDR; Met someone who blew my mind, but I wasn’t ready for a relationship. They found someone else who was. Now after them breaking the “no-contact ice” with a story reply, I’m struggling with not telling them that I still have feelings.
2 comments
Everyone else told you to let it go, and I’m going to tell you that too. Leave her be. Work on yourself and your goals and let her reach out if she wants to.
She made her choice. She’s with someone else. If she ends up single AND is interested in you, she’ll let you know.