I (28f) have this friend (26f) who I really love. She’s an amazing and sweet girl and we’re super close. We’re also in a common friend group with two other girls. I love her dearly BUT… I think she really doesn’t have the highest IQ and sometimes it bothers me a bit. She’s extremely naive and I don’t know whether she’s just not very informed or just not very intelligent or maybe both. I feel guilty for sometimes being “annoyed” by it because she’s such a sweet person and genuinely has such a good heart. But sometimes I enjoy the conversations with the other two girls in the group a bit more. And then I feel bad for thinking like this because I think this girl likes me best in the group and she’s also closest to me. She has also asked me to be godmother to my child and I said yes because I really love her and think she’d be the sweetest godmother in the world. But I’m scared that maybe over time I will be annoyed. What can I do to not be so bothered by it? I feel super guilty and like a horrible person.
2 comments
Do not go against your conscience. So you are right, she is the nicest person in a group. What if something happened to you? Who will stay away from you so as to not be bothered to help and who will come to your aide? Good true friends are hard to come by these days.
Something to think about!
Hi OP, just a couple of comments here. I have found that it can be very hard to have a friendship across highly different intelligence/IQ levels. The person with the higher IQ can indeed “feel annoyed” because there are topics the other person just cannot discuss, and because there are things they don’t seem to get. And the other person, in turn, can feel defensive or condescended to.
So I don’t think you should feel like a horrible person–this kind of “mismatch” is just a feature of life.
That said, meaning well toward others is pretty important, core, and it sounds like this girl definitely has that. As u/Balance976 says, good friends are indeed hard to come by, and with her as your godmother, you will need to maintain a good relationship with here.
That said, perhaps there are ways of keeping this relationship within boundaries, like only meeting occasionally, or with other people around? That might minimize what is bothering you, without hurting her feelings.