What do you think of certain age differences in relationships?

8 comments

1. I started my relationship when I was 17, so I would be hypocritical if I said it’s wrong. Though it was pretty much “platonic” at the beginning, so everything was completely legal. I can see though why such relationships can be controversial or dangerous, and I would recommend waiting with more serious stuff (like sex etc.) until both people are adult.

2. I generally always think it’s weird and wrong when someone 20+ goes for someone who isn’t a legal adult.

3. Age gaps with teens and someone 20+ is always sus and wrong to me. I think even with a few years difference the couple will be at different places in life and there will always be a power imbalance.

   If someone in their 30s enters a relationship with an older person I think that’s ok, because by that point they have matured and should know what they can handle.

4. My ex husband and I got together when I was 17 and he was 25.

   I didn’t see a problem with it for many years but it was a problem. There was a major power imbalance.

   As you get older though, I think there’s much less of a problem with age gaps. I dated someone 20 years older than me and it was fine- much less unhealthy than the 17/25 relationship. But I was a full blown adult, not a teenager. That makes a huge difference.

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6. My opinion is that if you aren’t a teen yourself, you shouldn’t be seeking one out to date.

7. I find it gross and if there was a man in their twenties trying to get with my teen daughter you can be assured I would not let him date her. It’s a major red flag they’re going for someone younger who’s STILL IN HIGHSCHOOL BTW.

8. It is problematic because young people is possessive, selfish and easier to manipulate. Nothing wrong with being all that at that age because it is just part of developmental stages.

   Now, the issue is that the younger person will freak out when the older person does things the younger cant do (drink, go on trips without having to ask their parents, etc.) which will cause stress on both people. The older person might meet more mature people and start comparing, more drama.

   Then, the younger person will try to act “mature” when it is still not their time to be mature, we all need to experience life stages on our own time, no need to rush. But it is also normal to want to please your partner, so younger person might end up adopting a personality solely for that. And yes, I was too a “Im really mature for my age” type of girl but when I look back I see I was not mature at all.

   Older person might discover how easy it is to manipulate younger person or they might delay their own personal growth because of younger person.

   The issue is not the 3-4 years gap, is where in life that gap occurs.