Wife and husband get an a argument one morning wife claims husband is always verbally abusive he was yelling inches from her face she started to punch and kick him he Carries her and puts her puts outside she calls the cops but doesn’t tell them she was hitting him he gets a warrant he left the scene before they arrived and he does have a previous DV from a physical altercation with her years prior months later he gets pulled over goes to jail but now being charged because there was a fire arm in the car and because of that charge he loses his 100k a year job and now hates his wife wants nothing to do with her should he blame her for losing his job ?
20 comments
Both are wrong
You’re both not good for each other. You need to work on improving therapy, counselling, and maybe time apart. Because this isn’t healthy and it is certainly not working.
You are both equally wrong.
You’re both wrong
Wife didn’t tell the full story so she can easily be as manipulative and abusive as the husband
The husband is definitely an abuser but there’s more than what you just wrote
And I just wanted opinions from strangers because I want to know if I’m the full blame or not
You have kids together. Seek consoling. If this can be mended in any way for the sake of the kids then it’s both of your responsibility to do so. If He or you are a danger waiting, then the other person needs to be abe to take the kids and leave. Try not to keep escalating this though. Whatever is going on, it probably needs an outside force to help it cool down if that’s even possible. Which again probably means marriage consolers.
Illegal possession of a firearm is a serious offense.
It sounds like an abusive situation on the part of both individuals and ending the relationship may simply be the safest thing to do.
Why did you have a firearm?
Screaming inches from someone’s face is violent behavior.
You’re trying to blame her for the straw that broke the camel’s back rather than acknowledging all the straws you threw.
There is never an excuse for putting your hand on each other and him yelling in your face did not justify that. This one is on you. I feel like there is way more to this story though than you are telling. Or he wouldn’t have gotten a warrant for his arrest just from picking you up an putting you outside.
Neither party should be in a relationship with anyone.
You’re both toxic for each other.
Wow, so much to unpack here.
Husband is verbally abusive if he’s screaming in your face.
Husband is 100% responsible for his own actions. He had a gun in his car. If he put it there or even knew it was there and didn’t do anything about it, he needs to accept the consequences of his actions.
You are toxic though. You physically assaulted him. Then you lied and called the cops on him? This is your husband? Father of your children? That’s as low as you can get. Given that you are willing to lie to the cops and pretend to be a victim, I take everything else you say with a grain of salt. Who knows, did you put a gun in his car just to ruin his life?
You need to get as far away from each other as possible. You personally need to get help. This is seriously toxic behavior and it will impact your children long term.
There was a quote in the movie Maid ….”before they hit you they hit near you” …if he’s screaming in your face he will eventually hit your face. There are usually programs to help women get out of abusive relationships. From personal DV experience and gaslighting and being told it was my fault …get out now. Then address your own violent issues because you will carry that into your next relationship no matter what kind of man you end up with. Get therapy. Most likely you can find free therapy through some DV program in your area. Work on yourself as much as you work on how to cope with your experiences. If nothing else, your kid deserves better.
You both sound like a nightmare. Probably shouldn’t be together.
The story sounds incomplete, Officers usually don’t put out a DV summons or charges unless there are clear marks of abuse on the victim. At least that is how my local agency operates. Domestic arguments happen all the time and both parties are spoken too and then officers leave. Arrests usually happen because there is enough evidence that an assault has taken place, if he had marks from her hitting him, he should have stayed on scene to show officers, potentially both parties can be arrested for domestic battery if that occurs.
Maybe the guy with priors and an outstanding warrant shouldn’t have a gun in his car or a volatile, violent relationship with his wife. Make better choices; get better results.
I feel sorry for the kids. Both parents are a nightmare
You are both wrong. You lied and made his issues worse. So you are more so. If you called the police then you should have told the truth and accepted the consequences. You wanted him to have to accept consequences. Also, he should have told the police the truth, but I am guessing he didn’t so he could protect you.
no matter how irate SHE may get for any reason, take your ass for a nice walk/swim/hike whatever until that train has passed
I’m sorry, I couldn’t finish reading this very long run-on sentence but I get the gist you guys should probably divorce?