TL;DR “if they wanted to, they would” thoughts on the saying? My (27F) bf (26M) hasn’t done anything for my bday and it’s been 2 months.
What do you guys think of that saying from the title? In terms of what a person would do for someone else. I’m trying not to take the fact that my bf hasn’t done anything for my bday, which was 2 months ago. I talked to him about it when my bday was rolling around the corner. We call it birth months and joke about special treatment for the whole month blah blah blah super hilarious I know.
His bday was a month before mine and I took him out for a really nice fancy dinner at a restaurant he’s been wanting to try. Anyway my bday rolls around the corner and nothing. I didn’t say much for 2 months because I knew he hadn’t been working as much so didn’t want to add more stress for something as stupid as my bday.
Now that things are looking better financially and I’m starting to feel self conscious about the lack of celebration, I talked to him about it.
It irks me that I’m asking for this but it’s what I’m feeling and what I want. Just makes me think of that saying from the Title though. Because I think I would’ve been ok with something inexpensive but meaningful too you know? Whatever though amirite. There are more important things but I can’t help but feel a bit bummed. Btw we’ve been dating for 4 years.
Edit: realized we’ve both been a bit lazy and that our relationship needs work. Will be talking to him as soon as he wakes up jk but not really. Thanks for the replies!
5 comments
Some critical information is missing. You say that you talked with him about it, but you don’t say what either of you said.
>I’m starting to feel self conscious about the lack of celebration, I talked to him about it.
And he said..?
This is extremely vague. What did he say when you talked to him?
Unless you’re dating a complete idiot, the answer is yes, if he wanted to do something, he would.
You treated him for a nice dinner for his birthday, you reminded him that your birthday was coming up and his response wasn’t “what would you like to do” or “yes, let’s plan to spend the day together”.
At 26, he knows that birthdays entail some kind of gesture. And if he happily accepts a generous acknowledgment from you, and yet only does the bare minimum after being prodded into it, he’s simply choosing to be lazy.
I am going through something pretty similar. I’ve had to ask my boyfriend so many times I can’t keep count if he could buy me flowers more (that’s all I need) I don’t even need gifts, just flowers and 5 months later I’m still asking. I asked my friend who’s been married for a long time what she thought and she said it sucks to feel like you aren’t being heard but with a relationship comes things you’re just going to have to settle or compromise. I realized that yes although he isn’t buying me flowers like I’ve asked him to, he does literally everything else and honestly I can buy myself flowers. Does your bf meet any of your other needs? How is he with communication? Maybe think about that? It’s something that can change with time if they’re willing to change and actually hear what you’re saying! If not after you communicated, I guess that’s something that should help determine if you should stay in that relationship or not.