Does he really not care?
I F27 and my Husband M31 have been together for 8 years Married for 4. We have a 1yr old.
We work well together, don’t fight, respect each other, try to communicate, parent well, agree on most things.
He never proposed. I was the one who suggested marriage but he wanted to and even cried on our wedding day.
He never does anything for me. No flowers (only on anniversary b/c I asked), no notes or cards, no gestures, no gifts, nothing unless I ask which defeats the purpose.
I do all the housework then one day he said “I feel like I don’t do enough around here” and so I had him start doing dishes but he’s very inconsistent with them. When I thank him for doing them he just says “it’s what I’m supposed to do”. It bugs me for some reason that he says it like that.
Intimacy has gone down hill since 2020. He stopped initiating and so now we switch off weeks on who initiates (my idea). I was getting tired of not feeling like I was attractive enough.
He says his favorite times together are when we’re just sitting on the couch doing different things on our phones.
I asked for a card for valentines day once because my love language is words of affirmation and he literally just gave me a card, didn’t even sign it. I wanted to help him show me he loves me in my love language. I show him I love him in his love language when it’s not something that comes naturally to me, I just wanted the same in return for once.
So I’ve stopped asking for things.
It’s been years since he’s done something for me without me asking.
I love him, but it’s getting hard.