How to ask my girlfriend to have sex?
First, let me say that we are both virgins and in high school. We have been dating for a little over 3 months and we see each other every day at school and we spend alot of time at each others houses. At this point in high school, almost half of our friends have had sex before, and it is pretty much all people who are in relationships.
Like usual for a Friday night, she is coming over tonight, we will probably watch a movie or something, and at some point I will probably get head, which I have gotten multiple times before from her. My question is: when/how should I ask her if she wants to have sex. Should I ask her before we start actually hooking up or during, and what should I say?
Also, it would be the right move to go out before she comes over and buy a condom right? I wouldn’t want to make it awkward by having to go to the pharmacy if she says yes.
Thanks for the help!
TL;DR – when/how should I ask my virgin gf if she wants to have sex. Should I ask her before we start actually hooking up or during, and what should I say?
12 comments
The more responsible thing to do would be to ask before you ever start “hooking up.” You should discuss your views on it, and get hers. Also realize that even if she says yes during that conversation, that doesn’t mean she can’t say no later.
And yes, definitely have condoms on hand.
You mention her giving you head but are you also reciprocating? I hope you know that sex should not just be you sticking it in! She’ll probably be nervous for her first time and it’s important you also focus on her pleasure.
Besides that yeah buy a condom beforehand!
You should probably have a conversation with her before things get heated just about whether that’s something she’s even ready for or interested in doing. Waiting until you’re already making out, etc. can lead to people agreeing to things because they feel pressured to. Having an intentioned conversation about it beforehand will get you both on the same page.
You should ALSO ask her WHILE things are heading that direction. Asking for consent to take her clothes off, asking for consent to touch her in ways you haven’t before, etc.
YES you should always have condoms on hand, so definitely do that. But its very important you talk to her about whether she’s interested in having sex with you and when. If she’s not interested, or not tonight, or whatever, it’s great to know that beforehand so you’re on the same page.
When there’s open communication and you know that you’re both on the same page about it, you can let loose and enjoy it!
Condom(S) plural, Op. Putting one on for the first time can get tricky and tearing it is not unusual.
“Do you want to have sex”?
Rub your butt in her face with your tail raised high like a kitty 🐈
The best time to talk about sex is when you’re not about to have it, less pressure that way. You can stock up on condoms anyway (maybe do a bit of googling about brands and sizes while you’re at it) since it’s always a good idea to be prepared, but be aware your gf might want a bit more lead up and time to think about this than you springing this on her today. You’ve been thinking about this for a while, but she may not have been… so have that talk, or a series of talks if it comes to that, and see where you end up.
I will just say really think about it. You are young and don’t have to yet. If she gets pregnant it will change both your lives forever. Maybe just enjoy the head
How old are you?
Sex is WAY riskier for your girlfriend than you, and sex is probably going to be painful for her at first. Most women I know who had sex as teenagers said it was horrible and they felt pressure to do it from teenage boyfriends.
So, here’s my advice. Talk about sex during a time you have privacy, but you’re not actively getting physical. Ask her what her thoughts are. Is she tempted? Scared? Ready? Not? Her answers will be very important. Whatever her answers are, listen to them and respect her boundaries.
And yes, condoms in advance. ALWAYS protect YOURSELF from unwanted pregnancy. Even if she’s on the pill, or thinks she’s infertile, or anything else. Men need to do their part to prevent pregnancy, and that means condoms until something else is an option.
If you have to ask this question then you’re not ready.
Ask when you’re not already in the middle of some sexual activity. Discuss both of your concerns, excitements, and birth control. Discuss what would happen if she were to accidentally get pregnant. Discuss everything in more detail than you think you need to. It’s really important that both of you feel comfortable speaking openly about it before, during, and after.
Whenever things start to really heat up between me and a girl, I always ask her, “are you okay with where this is going?” And you go from there. Always get consent, OP. And yes, always have a condom ready in your wallet for good measure, I mean good luck.