I’m 26 years old and I’ve always gotten along much better with women. I just find myself getting so nervous around other men, I feel like they judge me and I never know what to say.
Any advice or tips? Anyone who’s willing to “practice” with me? I think potentially working on social skills online could potentially translate into a real world setting.
For context I’m gay and have a few effeminate mannerisms and I tend to feel extremely judged and scrutinized. I’m not into sports, or cars or anything like that either.
4 comments
Well, hello me. I too had this problem and I too describe myself as a chimera, a hermaphrodite in disposition. Guys will bust each others balls a little. Some might say it’s a grittier form of teasing. Like if a guy’s wearing basic sneakers, you might say, “Back at the Ross discount rack again I see. What’d I tell you about blowing your money on expensive women?” Then when that phase is over, you might end up talking about women or sports or you know, manly shit. I don’t talk about sports because I don’t watch sports. But when it comes to drinking, women, and knives I’m in. I just kinda quietly pay close attention when sports talk is going on. Come to think of it, I did watch golf once upon a time. Sean Connery used to play golf which afforded the sport masculine credibility.
When all else fails, sit back a little stoic and observe how the boys interact. That should reveal enough.
guys work different and in many ways I blame the grindset for this bc a lot of men die by the sword and live generally individualistic/atomized lives which makes it difficult to build a connection but if you can get into similar social systems then it’s great. most of my guy friends are very easygoing and chill and go with the flow of things
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lol you dont need practice, you already got the skills, you’re just viewing them guys as a threat hence your brain shuts down
Reframe the situation as the guys will be happy to hear you talking, since you got experience with girls then use it to offer them value
Reframing something is not a form of magic or astral projection woo woo. It’s a reminder to your brain and some sort of brainwash that the situation is friendly to you.
I used to work with a gay guy and the mafia bosses of the city would come over and have a chat with him