I don’t sleep with guys until we’re in a relationship…but making out is fine. Even during that I’d have to tell him no or physically grab his hand to stop him. He’d oblige so I thought he was a good guy.
One night though, he kept insisting we go to his bedroom but I kept telling him no, until he forced me in there by grabbing and carrying me in and had this look in his eyes. He didn’t ask before trying to remove my clothes but I froze and let him. My “no” wasn’t forceful enough but I knew something was wrong and yet I still let him do it.
But I gave in and continued sleeping with him and developed feelings. (I’m not sure why I did this…)
Eventually, he started looking at sex as an obligation. Like, I HAD to give oral because he did it to me. Again, he wouldn’t take no for an answer and told me why I had to do it.
I just realized all of this now, but I was wrong for continuing to sleep with him, right? No wonder he didn’t respect me.
He was very charming and had a sketchy history with girls, and now he’s dating another girl who he’s interested in. It doesn’t make sense that he gets out of this unscathed and might get a girlfriend.
4 comments
>But I gave in and continued sleeping with him and developed feelings. (I’m not sure why I did this…)
Serial rapists are very good at charming their victims and making them think it’s their fault. It is not your fault OP.
>Eventually, he started looking at sex as an obligation. Like, I HAD to give oral because he did it to me. Again, he wouldn’t take no for an answer and told me why I had to do it.
Coercive sex is still rape.
>It doesn’t make sense that he gets out of this unscathed and might get a girlfriend.
He doesn’t have a girlfriend. He has a new victim.
Report him to the authorities, OP. Even if they don’t take it seriously there will be a paper trail for when someone finally does.
there isn’t much you can do at this point except learn from your mistakes and not let it happen again.
being sexually open about the things you like helps a lot too. you can clearly say you don’t like oral sex. I personally like it and like receiving it too if my SO tells me she doesn’t like doing it I will have to break up. being sexually compatible is important or you will end up resenting the person you are with and worse case they will cheat on you.
What is your question?
Is this the same guy who you keep yearning for?