I don’t think this breaks any rules but if it does I’ll take it down. Okay so, lately I’ve been getting really curious about trying out sexual stuff since I’ve never done anything with a guy or anyone before. Nothing penetrative just heavy touching. Problem is that
1. I’m starting to suspect I’m aromantic so I never reached that stage with a boyfriend before so I’ve been thinking of a one night stand situation or fwd but
2. I’m terrified I’d match with someone on a dating app and they turn out to be major bad news or something
3. I’m painfully introverted and shy and I’m scared of telling the people around me and damaging my reputation
4. Most people around me are Christian so I can’t exactly ask for help from them either
5. My country is pretty high up there in the world in terms of crime so I’m scared of meeting strangers for anything
I have no idea what to do but this has been on my mind for a while now. I’m really curious but I’m scared I’ll mess up. Any advice is really appreciated
4 comments
Don’t fool yourself. Christians have sex drive too, they are just good at pretending they don’t. Early up ask them what their beliefs are around sex. If they are conservative, cut your losses and move on.
1. If you didn’t feel comfortable with your BF, you probably won’t feel comfortable with a one night stand either. Unless you just weren’t meant for each other with your BF and you’d find a ONS who will make you feel the right kind of connection and lust (in such a short time).
2.-5. I recommend getting a new hobby, where there is a lot of people with fun personality. Such as acro yoga, social dancing, etc. Depends on your location. You can then meet new people and get to know them over a longer period of time and see if you could click.
Depending on the circumstances, you could just ask a guy you like for a meeting, etc. If he’s single and likes you, he probably won’t say no. Or maybe you’ll meet your new BF for life, who knows.
Even if your end goal is heavy petting, you can always meet someone on a dating app and chat for a while before getting there. You could even be explicit up front that that’s you think your end goal is and they could decide if they are ok with that, but I honestly doubt you get anyone who isn’t. That will allow you to vet them and make sure they aren’t bad news.
You can meet someone in your friend group. Ask your friends to set you up on a blind date. Let them do the ground checks for you.
Don’t write yourself off by calling yourself aromantic and miss out on some amazing things.