Hey all. Just looking for some advice/opinions. I’ll be short and to the point.
I dated this girl for almost 2 years. Very healthy and fun relationship. I broke up with her over differences of our future. She didn’t want kids, wanted to eventually move elsewhere, etc. Stuff just didn’t align. She understood, and were still friends. This was maybe 4 months ago
We don’t hang out but we do text and come to each other about stuff often, and we do flirt and have phone sex/exchange pics and vids pretty often. She’s made it obvious she’s down to hookup and do a FWB type situation. There’s no romantic feelings on my side, and as far as I’m aware it’s the same for her.
There’s sexual chemistry and I’m interested in it, but being 21 and in college, I’m still living at home so it might be an awkward thing to explain to my parents? They did really like her and I’m sure they’d be fine with it, but I just feel weird and don’t want them to think I’m backtracking I guess?
I don’t know, I’ve never done or considered this. Any advice or opinions appreciated.
tl;dr – is it normal/okay to hookup with ex who you still have a very amicable friendship with?
6 comments
That’s between the two of you. Who cares what anybody else thinks.
It’s OK as long as you are 100% clear with her that it is nothing more that a hook-up to you; not a prelude to getting back together.
It feels like a big mistake in the long run. The two most likely situations that are going to happen are
1. 1 or both of you will catch feelings and 2 months after that every bad thing that caused you to end the relationship the first time will make you end the relationship the second time.
2. One of you will find someone and start dating and that person will 100% object to your friendship. It will be a hard boundary and it will have an ultimatum of “me or them” attached to it. No one is going to believe that your relationship will be purely platonic friends after having been in a serious relationship and fwb relationship. You will be viewed as a threat and it will not be tolerated.
Either way your friendship will eventually end.
Is it okay? Absolutely, you’re both consenting adults. Is it a good idea? Probably not, somebody’s feelings are probably gonna get hurt eventually
Whether or not it is okay for you to hook up with your ex depends on your individual circumstances and what you are comfortable with. It is important to consider any potential emotional consequences and to communicate openly and honestly with your ex about your intentions and feelings. It is also important to consider the potential impact on any current romantic partners you may have. Ultimately, the decision is yours to make.
There’s nothing wrong with that. It might get messy with emotions for one of you down the road, but you both seem like we’ll adjusted people who will handle the situation maturely from the absolutely nothing I know about you.