My half sister asked me to be a bridesmaid at her wedding. It is a destination wedding. She asked me back in December, I said yes. I recently found out that the wedding invite is without a plus one, but I had previously planned to take my boyfriend, and even wanted to take the opportunity for a little vacation and arrive 5 days before the wedding.
My boyfriend is upset that he’s not invited, we both were looking forward to this trip, although i guess it was wrong to assume he was invited but i had never gone to a wedding without having a plus one.
The no plus one rule applies to everyone due to space. I want to ask her since I won’t know anyone but my dad there, but not sure if it is appropriate.
Should I ask?
Update: I ended up texting her to ask and she replied saying she had already contemplated my boyfriend as a guest. And that she put the no plus one’s rule because other guests were trying to invite people they didn’t know.
7 comments
Wouldn’t asking be a waste of time?
Just mention you plan on using the trip to have a little vacation with your boyfriend and if it would be alright if he attends. Just add you understand if it’s not okay, but he’ll still come on the trip without attending.
The fact that there is a no plus one rule applying to everyone tells me that there isnt any malicious intent in not giving you a plus one. It could just be because of budget, personal preference, etc.
As long as you/he are willing to pay all the additional expenses of having him along it’s fair to ask. In most cases the ‘no +1’ is related to venue capacity or cost cutting. So offering to pay for him might enough. If it’s related to venue capacity you could still pay for him to take the trip, he’d just have to skip the actual wedding. There’s probably a way to have him on the trip even if he can’t be at the wedding.
No you shouldn’t ask. You can still go with your boyfriend and have a vacation without him coming to the wedding. If she offers him an invite, fine, but if not, leave it go.
He can always still come to the vacation even if he isn’t invited to the wedding. Assuming you are paying your own way and not sharing a hotel room.
It can’t really hurt to ask.