Just anxious I’m not clean enough, ever, even immediately out of the shower, afraid that he won’t enjoy the taste, afraid he’ll get a hair in his mouth (I grow a little hair between my lips, which I hate but can’t do much about). I also really hate my genitals, like almost to a dysphoric degree, and just can’t imagine someone’s face being close to them. This is all likely due to of being asexual and not enjoying sex much anyway, being raised Christian with a very guilty conscience with regards to anything that isn’t “missionary for baby-making only”, and some unaddressed shit with regards to my gender.
However, I really want to get over this someday. My husband and I do a lot of other really kinky sexual things and while I don’t really enjoy partnered sex and never have, I REALLY enjoy making this man happy in bed. It’s one of my favourite things in the world c:
I’m sure this gets asked a lot but would anyone have advice for getting over this? I’m working on my mental health, but with regards to my hesitations with him (fear of taste, hair, him being grossed out, etc)…any advice at all to help me get over these anxieties?
7 comments
You seem pretty adventurous in bed. It’s help if your husband could instill that confidence in you.
You just need to tel him your fears and apprehensions bf let him take the lead.
You can start saying , “ hey! I want you to eat my pussy but I’m afraid you’d not like the taste” how do we go forward here….
If you’re worried about the hair entering his mouth, then shave it all up.
What you think is a turn off probably makes him want to eat you even more. If you’re worried about taste, you can get flavored sex lotions or edible panties that taste like cherries🍒 Since your uncomfortable with the situation just take it slow with only a few seconds at first. Then you can build up to letting him eat you longer once your more relaxed!
Either put your finger down there and taste.yourself or let him give it a go.
If he’s asking, he wants it. My wife was hesitant for a long time until she just figured out that I liked doing it.
Christian upbringing is a shit show. God doesn’t care how you and your husband please each other. The Bible is pretty silent on the marriage bedroom. Also read the Songs of Solomon and his inappropriate propositions to the Shulamite woman. Remember Solomon was supposed to be the wisest of the wise.
What about toys, start with a clit sucker or other small vibrator, let him finger you while playing with the toy. Get comfortable there maybe a nice orgasm? Then maybe add kissing on your inner thighs up to your cooch? (Yeah I went there) and hey, I am a hairy pussy fan club member, I get hair in my mouth sucking cock… it’s hair, spit and move on. Anyway just let him spend time there reassuring you how much it turns him on??
Tell him to suck on your clit and be gentle at first
>hate my genitals
Working on that would be the priority, IMO.
I (M) really enjoy going down on my partner. I’ve put my face in many. Each was different, but none of them ever grossed me out. I could tell many partners were concerned with how I might react the first time. My enthusiasm seems to calm those concerns. If your husband likes doing it, and you follow basic hygiene, he’s not going to have any problems with the things that are worrying you.
If he wants it then how it tastes is what he wants. Using a bit of Summer’s Eve in the shower around (NOT IN) the urethra can make sure there’s no pee taste added in, but usually as long as you don’t have tiny white balls of TP in there it’s gravy.
Hair is fine so long as it’s not overwhelming. Sounds like it’s just a bit of inner, that’s okay. A Wahl brand shaver has attachments to keep the clipper part from touching the skin, so if you really think it should be shorter, do it the way that won’t cut you.
And honestly? The fact that it’s weird is the best part. Sincerely, I have done many things but nothing is like eating a woman out, and few things are as intimate as pressing your face down there.
The best thing you can do is think about what is feeling good, and anything you can do to him that he likes already. It sounds like he wants to pleasure you while getting a taste of you and that he truly cares.