So I (21M) around 6-7 months ago I met a girl (21F) with whom I say I fell in love with, she has an awesome personality and her goals and ethics really aligned with mine. we started talking and things started to go really well, we did so much things together and thought things where gonna go into a serious relationship thing which I really really wanted. then things started going south after we kinda admited our feelings for each other. I asked her on a date a week later after that and she agreed then cancelled on me, after that I wanted to talk things out with her to figure out what went wrong, but she profusely denied that what me and her had was solelly just a friends thing. (which i didnt understand cause she kinda proved me the whole other way with her actions).
after that It just kinda fucked up my life in a really really bad way, I told her I needed time to think about my feelings and I did, but i indefinetly talked to her again. we spent the whole summer talking over text and connected way more than before, eventually she went away for vacations and started acting really cold towards me, which made me feel kinda insecure and worthless because I thought that what I did was proving myself that I was a good, (now that i realize that I shouldnt have done it). we are in the same college classes because our school is small and are forced to hae the same classes across the whole semester (that applies over the whole carreer) so we had to get along during the whole semester (which was last 2022 from august to december) that was a chaos because I just couldnt control my feellings towards her, and ended up just trying to ask her out on dates which some she agreed on and some she didnt, then on a mutual friends bithday party we ended up just sleeping together (no in the sexual way but in a more intimate way like holding each other) when things fucked me up all the worst was when my birthday came ( at the end of september) when she (21F) gave me a present that had to do with a very very special moment between me and her, and started to get confused all over again by her feelings towards me, which was a very bad thing for me beacuse I was already dating another girl (20F) that really really liked me and visceversa, but because of that gift that she gave I ended up dumping the girl (20F) I was dating because I wanted to be with the girl (21F) who gave me the present, eventually I tried talking to her about my feelling but every single time she denied trying to talk to me and told me to just let things flow, which I did, we hanged out another few times in the semester and ended up going in 2 dates (which I dont know if counts as dates but I directly asked her if she wanted to go on dates and she agreed upon) after that winter brake began and she went to the whole winter brake away and we kept texting, which eventually fell again into the situation which she began to act really cold towards me again, that ended up in her ghosting me for a while until days before returining to school, but I decided I had enough, and ended up being cold towards her and now things are really mixed up, but the thing is i still really really like her and dont know what to do because we will end up having to be around each other for another 2 more years because of college and I want to be so badly with her but dont want her to treat me like shit anymore and dont know what to do if someone could help me it would mean the wolrd to me, im suffering so much and really trying my best to keep afloat
1 comment
Obviously your big mistake was letting yourself fall “in love” with someone you weren’t even really dating (and in such short time, only “6-7 months”). But if nothing else, consider how non committal she’s been with you. That alone should temper your emotions toward her. You just want something way more intense than she’s up for. Having an honest conversation about this would have spared you a lot of grief. Don’t ask her out again, learn to control your feelings. She’s in college and probably not looking to settle down any time soon. You’re going to have to be the one to break this on again/off again cycle.