Im 31F and finally went on a date the other day for the first time in 3 years. The first date was good, we went for coffee and walk by the water. I didnt really get butterflies but lots of anxiety before it for obvious reasons. I would go on second date with him and that is in the making due to our schedules. Anyway, he has been texting me daily and im wondering if that is overkill or not? I feel it lessens the mystery to me and what im doing if we talk everyday. Mind you its casual conversation like “hope ur day was good” or a little banter back and forth. I guess im nervous if we go on a second date, it doesnt leave too much to talk about. What is ur take on it? If he is texting me daily, is it a red flag for clingy-ness? Also he is a nice guy and he gives off the vibe like “nice guys finish last”. Any input/advice?
9 comments
Daily texting, in itself, really doesn’t mean a whole lot.
I’d be more concerned about that “nice guys” attitude, if that’s really what you’re sensing. That’s a chip on his shoulder, and generally an unhealthy way of thinking.
Let it roll out and see what happens. There’s no way to predict after one date.
Have fun!
It is overkill, its not a red flag, hes just clingy and inexperienced. Oh and yes hes just a clueless “nice guy” as you put it.
Nothing wrong with texting daily. I know most people do it if they’ve enjoyed the date and want to continue seeing each other. Daily texting doesn’t necessarily mean clingy unless he messages you every few mins asking what you’re doing or something like that.
The problem is the nice guy mentality which I would watch out for if I were you.
It’s normal tbh. Just take it as he’s excited to talk to you. If this is a potential partner you shouldn’t be too worried about adding mystery or running out of things to talk about. More likely this could be a mismatch in texting chemistry or you aren’t as interested in him atm
You’ll get a variety of answers on that, some will say it is fine, some will say it is too much.It all comes down to how you feel about it.I personally am in the group that doesn’t have an issue with it, just the opposite in fact.If you want mystery, then you are better of finding someone who is willing to play those mystery games and a “nice guy” is not what you want.There is nothing wrong with a normal and basic how was your day type of messages, what happened at work or whatever. That sort of stuff is not something either of you will waste time on actual date.If however he starts talking about more meaningful stuff, then yea, that sort of stuff should be done in person and not over the phone after one date.
Nothing to advise until you go on another date. After the second, you should have a good idea if you want to go on a third or not.
Okay. Can someone please explain the “nice guy” mentality?
As a guy who actually values relationships and treating people how I want to be treated I try to be nice to everyone I interact with I hate that just being a good person got brandished as wrong. I genuinely try to take interest in the girls I talk to because other than trying to rebuild a social life that completely fell apart over the last year I’m lonely and want consistent companionship from someone new and unfortunately I feel like I get overlooked just because I was raised to be a genuine nice person please consider this point of view it’s rough for most guys to even get a date at the moment and lots of us just want to put our best foot foreword
Aren’t you trying to get to know each other? Even after being with someone for years there’s always something new to find out about them.