I’m a virgin and in fact never even kissed a boy, I’m awkward and not great with people but I want to start doing stuff.
I’m not really ready for a relationship but I’d like some experience and not just for experience sake but like sex and stuff just seems fun and I’m sick of not even knowing what it’s like to kiss someone.
I also 100% would not feel comfortable with a stranger so my only option is a friend and I have a couple I’m thinking about but don’t know how to approach it.
One is a guy I talk to everyday in school since the start of this year and been to his house before and we’re good friends. He’s a really sweet guy and I would be scared off him saying no then things being weird and ruining it for nothing. Also to my knowledge he’s also a virgin which makes me more comfortable.
Next is another guy who I’m not as friendly with and I know has some experience which makes me a little more nervous as I feel I’d be judged for being shit at it. Also I’d be nervous of being judged for asking him if he said no compared to the other guy who I know even if I make things weird I wouldn’t feel judged or made to feel bad about just asking.
And Idk how to flirt or do any of that. Before you say “just be direct.” Um…. No lol. I can’t just ask hey can we fuck I’m tired of not having experience, it seems fun and you’re nice.
Like how do I approach the subject?
5 comments
I know this is going to sound old fashioned by why not ask out someone you are attracted to and share some interests with? Hang out with him and the kissing will probably happen organically.
My advice: just wait until you really like someone and it’ll happen pretty naturally. It doesn’t sound like you have very strong feelings for either of these two boys. You’re young. There is plenty of time for those kinds of experiences. You’re not behind at all!
But yeah. Invite a male friend who is into you, alone, to your place for a movie and you are getting snogged.
It might actually be more of an issue that he will go in for the big win sooner than you are comfortable with.
I’m actually taking a step back here. As a dad who was your age once I want my advice to be as good as it can be.
If you want to hook up with someone because you are feeling hormonally driven, that’s totally ok. Like I said, be safe and be transparent. If you don’t want to be in a relationship after a make out session you should say so.
However, if you think your time is running out, it isn’t. I had a gf at age 20 who was a virgin when she met me. I had no problem with it and you’ll be surprised how naturally it may come to you… ahem.
Whatever you do, make sure you’re on birth control, use a condom and be very careful about STIs. Try to avoid alcohol if you can. You don’t want to end up regretting an experience because you’re less inhibited and don’t recognize the signs of a bad situation.
Be cautious and like others said, there really is no rush. Take your time. It’s better to wait for a good partner than dealing with the aftermath of a bad partner.