I had this friend and we used to hang out together and play games together. But since winter break he ghosted me online and at school. We only had like a 30 minute period together but he would always distance himself and do his own thing. I was confused but I eventually accepted that he doesn’t want to hang out with me. I know that friendships don’t always work out but he was my friend since third grade so it didn’t make sense for him to ignore me. He ignored me so I just didn’t interact with him at all.

But now in the second semester I have a new class with him and he just all of a sudden wants to hang out with me. When I asked him why he ignored me for like a quarter he just said MY BAD BRO. And he said that while scratching his head like he had something to hide.

I come on reddit to ask for advice on how to proceed with him and most likely to get advice on how to not be awkward with him since he have a full 90 minute class together.

9 comments

  1. Ghosted you like, stopped answering you or stopped inviting you to do things? Maybe he was busy with something else, doesn’t mean he didn’t want to hang out with you.

  2. Personally I prefer to cut this type of person from my life. It’s just too hard to want to be friends with someone who doesn’t reciprocate. Life’s too short, spend it with people who love you as much as you love them. They’re out there.

    Be civil, but expect it to happen again so I wouldn’t put too much effort into that friendship. Real friends will take a few seconds to respond with “sorry dude I’m busy with other shit” or something.

    First though, make sure you’re not looking at the situation with depression fogged goggled on. Ask someone closer to the situation than we are.

  3. I say hang out, but keep the friendship at arms length. If he does something similar again, reciprocate the energy and ignore him.

  4. Do you know for sure he wasn’t going through something or otherwise struggling during that time? Personally, my mental health often has me socially shutting down and ghosting people for periods of time. I know how rude it looks, so I try to explain, but not everyone likes to be open about that kind of thing.

    I’m not saying this is the case, but I think it’s worth considering.

  5. Hmmm idk tbh, but watch your surroundings.. there’s probably a reason behind this. I mean, it is all of the sudden. I don’t trust this world.. too much evil or maybe bc I watch to many ID cases

  6. It might be short sighted to cut people off for not always being available.

    Don’t we all have varying capacities for steady, unbroken streaks of closeness?

    Some of my best friends of yesteryear are extremely busy now.

  7. If he was going through some tough times, depression or whatnot, I’d ask him to be honest with you and explain so that you might be able to offer some assistance. If he doesn’t give you any answers or declines that it was anything going on:

    I’d cut him off. It sounds kind of like you’re just a rebound now- he tried someone/thing new, it didn’t work out, and now he thinks he can come back to you no problem.

  8. Huge red flag. Unless you get a clear valid explanation you shouldn’t keep hanging out. Don’t let people treat you like that

  9. While I agree with the other commenters about depression/struggling situations causing people to behave the way your friend did…

    Reading your comments

    > Pretty sure he wasn’t struggling something because he was so happy hanging out with other people.

    > Ghosted me as in pretending to not know me.

    I would drop this dude. He doesn’t sound like a friend. Sounds like he made new friends, had to keep up some kind of “appearance” left you hanging and when those people didn’t work out or started leaving him out, he came back to you.

    Test the waters if you still want to be this guy’s friend (but keep low expectations) by starting out slowly. Like make plans to hang out, and see what happens but really keep him at arms distance because the chances of him pulling the same kind of stunt is relatively high given his “my bad BRO” attitude when you asked what was up with his out-of-the-ordinary behavior/treatment of you.

    I was friends with a chick from 8-24 who acted the same way. She’d drop me last second if someone had* invited her to do something, regardless of how much planning or money spent. She’d act like she didn’t know me if I ran into her at the mall with her other friends, and best part was, when her other friends had shown interest in me coming around or invited me, **she went real toxic, real fast, and bad mouthed me to all of them**.

    Cutting her out of my life was exceptionally hard because she’d use the whole “we’ve known each other forever, you’re my best friend” bs on me, but believe me when I say, **friends do not treat you like the last option, and you need to stand up for yourself and aim for your own happiness.**

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