Basically, my mood is directly related to how other people react to my interactions.
For example, if someone seems engaging in a conversation with me or seems to like my presence, I feel good and valued. If someone seems to be avoiding me or doesn’t engage with me at all, I feel like I must have done something wrong and that there’s something wrong with me. And if someone seems to be avoiding any of my interactions (I’m trying my best to not appear creepy all the time), I feel like there is definitely something wrong with me and I feel like shit.
Honestly, I can’t control any of this (maybe because I lack social skills), and when mid-to-bad interactions happen, I feel like it’s especially my fault because the same people (especially girls) behave differently when they’re with other people.
So, I ask, how do I stop caring about how others feel about me, because this is really fucking up with me and I can’t bear having my days ruined like that in an instant.
3 comments
This comes down to a few things. One is building self-confidence. When you’re confident in yourself, you’re less likely to hold other people’s actions as a reflection of your worth. Two, understand that their reactions are none of your business. Someone didn’t say hello back? Shrug and move on. Don’t rumminate and fill in the blanks as to why. The sooner you realize that they aren’t even thinking about you and are more concerned about their own life, the freer you will be.
Sounds like a lack of self-esteem to me. I’ve found that the less confident I am in myself and my capabilities, the more susceptible I am to external influences. I’d recommend developing your self-esteem. How you do that is really up to you but it might help to identify areas where you consistently identify some sort of inferiority. That can be something along the lines of academic performance, fitness levels, general appearance, etc. This is just my two cents.
You’re asking how do you develop your self esteem to the point where others opinions don’t matter as much. We all care a little. I got lucky because I walked into a gym in college and fell in love with exercise. It did wonders for my body but it does far more for my self esteem. It helps if you do things that lift your self esteem. Working hard and being an asset to your school or job. Doing activities that you enjoy and are good at. These are all acts that build self esteem. When I became really happy with me, what others thought didn’t matter because I know and like and respect who I am. I live with integrity. Make sense?