I set a boundary with my on and off again FWB and he got super mad, but claimed he wasn’t. I have no clue how to proceed.

30 comments

1. “I’m out” and block. Pretty straightforward.

2. Just be direct.

   “Hey, I really need to upfront and honest here. This isn’t working out for me and I think we need to go our separate ways.” Add in whatever other flair you want to the template, customize it.

3. I mean, he’s an FWB. Give him a week or two to cool off and he’ll probably come back like nothing happened when he wants sex.

   Or, if the two of you keep having issues of differing expectations, it might be better to cut it off. I never understand why people are willing to put up with drama when it’s someone they’re not trying to be with long term anyway 🤷🏻‍♀️

4. Dude sounds selfish. And childish. It also sounds like he thinks he’s doing a lot more for you than he actually is.

   No single action seems that unreasonable but the way he talks to you about it and the collection of them as a whole is just… if this wasn’t “dating over 30” I’d assume he’s in high-school.

   I’d at least ease back on the F and end the WB part. Tell him you don’t appreciate the way he talks to you and want to spend less time with him.

5. Extremely childish

6. Blessed and blocked would be the last words I’d text him: he’s beyond rude

7. Wow what a prick. Very easy to end something when someone is this aggressive. you say bye and if they don’t listen, you block. no need to be all “you were xyz when i set a boundary so it’s over.” just say it’s over. no need for a long drawn out talk about feelings. this dude isn’t your boyfriend. no sex is good enough for that attitude

8. BTW:

   > Its a whole separate thing I won’t bore people with.

   I’m absolutely here for boring relationship shit otherwise I’d have unsubed months ago.

9. He’s childish and you just called him out lol so of course he’s defensive.

   The convo I just read had so little to do with the dog. You feel like he’s expecting gf stuff from you unfairly and he feels called out by that and wants to remind you of all the ways he extends himself for you.

   To end things you could just say that you’ve enjoyed your friendship but you’re looking for someone else, wish him the best and don’t engage in whatever petty response he has.

10. This sounds like a fuckton of drama for something that’s supposed to…not be that.

11. You’ve triggered him by setting a boundary. Now you know how he responds when he’s emotional and that he’s got the emotional maturity of around age 5. Do you want that in your life? If not then tell him that you don’t tolerate rude and disrespectful behaviour and if it continues you’ll remove yourself from the situation.

12. Lol, I stopped hooking up with an FWB because he’s been the best dog sitter. So now we’re just good friends who watch each other’s pets lol

13. I personally wouldn’t want to be involved with someone who throws tantrums….so yeah I don’t blame you for being done.

    That said, it’s FWB. You have all the easy options at your disposal here. I think you can just not interact with them and/or ignore their next booty call request. If they ask why you didn’t reply tell them you’re not feeling it anymore.

14. Yeah, he’s being an ass. If you don’t want to see him anymore, then say so.

    I will say that people seem to forget the Friend part of an FWB and focus only on the benefit. Would I buy smoke detectors for a friend if their’s were defective? Yes. Would I watch my friend’s dog? Yes. That doesn’t excuse his reaction though.

    So my question is, what is this person to you really? If you stopped having sex, would this person stilk be a part of your life? Are they a friend or are they just someone you occasionally hook up with? That dictates your response. If a friend popped off, I’d let them cool down and talk about it later. If it’s someone I just occasionally hook up with, there’s no room for that kind of passive aggressive behavior, so I’d end it.

15. Being the default dog sitter is not FWB stuff. He could have asked.

16. Ha if I was acting like that regardless of relationship a women would drop me in a heartbeat lol

    I got no advice but good luck

17. You aren’t FWB your the side piece. He has gf’s while he has you to screw and use. He knows you won’t go anywhere because you care about him but the reality is he doesn’t.

    Time to put you first and take back your self-respect. Send him a goodbye text them block him everywhere. Then take a little you time and figure out why you settled for this garbage in the first place. When you found out the first time he had a gf while still doing you, you should have been gone. Your worth so much more than this and you know it.

18. Honestly, just leave.He has made it pretty clear that he doesn’t want anything more except FWB when it suits him and that’s fine if that works for you as well, but right now according to those messages, he is acting like a douche bag.I frankly see no reason why you can’t look after his dog and how not doing it sets a boundary since you are at the very least friends and friends do that for each other, BUT that is your choice of course and instead of respecting your choice and your wishes, he chose to get pissy about it and lash out the way he did and bring up something as ridiculous as a freaking smoke detector which I’m sure you could’ve done yourself, is just childish.

    You don’t owe him anything so your question how to get out of it is really very simple…just tell him you had a great time with him, but it is time for you to move in a different direction and do what is right for you, wish him all the best and cut off all contact.The only thing i will say is that if you do that then make sure YOU are sure it is what you want and you will not go back again in a few months time.

19. Situationships are so bad. You are in a gray zone where he doesn’t want you as a girlfriend but can offer great sex to get thru to the next man. I’m on your side and wouldn’t want to be his dog sitter. He can board his pet while he is away. This isn’t your responsibility as you aren’t a couple.

20. Smoke detectors are definitely 100% cameras. Be careful and check them.

21. Oy. Please exit this situation. He’s like a toddler throwing a tantrum because he didn’t get what he wants. Just his tone alone is so ick. He’s so emotionally manipulative and disgusting. I would ask for proof of purchase of smoke detectors because I tend to think he’s making shit up to make you feel bad.

    And insulting your cat? Just no. Bye.

22. OK first of all, maybe sign him up for some cobra Kai, or some Miyagi doll lessons because the guy is a pussy if you fell into him and “” injured him

23. Second of all that was straight up a bitch tantrum that he threw the second you set a boundary. He use the words setting a boundary as a weapon and not a tool for proper communication.

24. Forward him to Rover.com and then tell him it’s been real, but you don’t want to do this with him anymore and it’s going to be hard but mean it !

25. I can’t believe this guy is 37 years old. No amount of deep dicking is worth dealing with this level of childish behavior. People saying he just wants the WB in FWB are right on and it seems like you’re trying to find a way to make him treat you more like a friend. He won’t, he wants someone that has no boundaries and lets him walk all over them.

    Girl he was with you while in a relationship with someone else. That tells you everything you need to know about this person.

26. If ever a situation called for ghosting, this is it.

    And in the future, do not fuck someone hoping he will catch feelings for you. If you want a boyfriend, you have to hold out for a boyfriend. No situationships. No FWBs. None of this undefined, stupid bullshit.

    If a guy lies to another woman, he will lie to you. Don’t waste time with liars.

    Dating sucks. You really do have to be ruthless. Ruthless. Even when you want to get laid. I suggest investing in a battery-operated-boyfriend.

27. Girl you need to walk away. Like stop cold turkey.

    I was in a situation like this. Knew him 7 years, on/off fwb for about 3. He always had excuses for why we couldn’t be exclusive. I put myself through the ringer for this guy thinking he’d eventually come around. I finally couldn’t do it anymore. I didn’t like what it was doing to my mental health.

    Here’s the tough love part: He’s never going to come around for you. He’s capable of calling someone his girlfriend (since he recently had one), he just doesn’t see you as girlfriend material for whatever reason. And why would you want to set your eyes on a terminal bachelor anyway?

    End it. Let your heart heal.

28. Leave the trash at the curb. The guy’s an ass. Super aggressive, hostile, immature, manipulative, and entitled.

    How to leave? Give a time and date to pick up any of his things from the deck/yard/curb. Don’t waiver. Don’t open the door. Have a friend over if the need is there. Once that time and date passes, block everything, even if his stuff is still curbed; that’s his problem. You’re not a rental storage and his stuff being there isn’t an easy “in” to keep a conversation going.

    Also, I’m getting déjà vu and feel like I’ve read this post before… maybe a few weeks ago.

29. The manipulation he’s attempting here is gross. And for him to tell you about the detectors in that manner is so immature and not loving. Also, FWBs don’t go on trips together. Y’all both got feelings but you know what you gotta do 💜

30. Girl…you are halfway there.

    Please cut this shit off. It sounds like you want to be his girlfriend but he wants to be a gross idiot who wants gf perks without commitment.

    The boundary you set for yourself is not talking to him anymore.

    Edited to add: BRO YOU DO NOT NEED THIS BACKWARDS STUPID BUKLDHIT FROM A MAN WHO DIESNT EVEN WANT TO COMMIT

    I’m livid reading the full texts. That condescending tone of “I gOtTa sEt bOunDaRiEs” is the same type of passive aggressive throw it back in your face bullshit that my abusive ex used to do.

    Drop this dirty dishtowel of a man. Trust me when I promise you the dick isn’t that good! You can find better sex and companionship elsewhere.