I (24m) have been dating him (21m) exclusively for about a month now. Just a few days ago, I came across a video of him j*rking off on twitter (he censored his face) and I suspected that it was him. I sent him the link and asked whether it was really him. At first he denied but after some prompting he decided to come clean. I was really hurt because he had never sent me any nudes before. I have though, but he hasn’t. He apologised but I told him I needed space and a few days later we had a talk.
During the talk, he told me that he liked the attention he got from the likes and retweets and did not mean any harm towards me. But he also said that he has never been romantically attracted to me. Hence why he posted the tweet. I was really shocked as I didn’t expect this from him. We’ve never really been intimate before but I know I did try to initiate it with him. He doesn’t really want to try being intimate as he said that he isn’t attracted to me. I’m really confused because I thought things were going well between us. Could it be that we haven’t fully experienced anything sexually intimate? Is there any useful advice for me in this situation? I would appreciate anything.
Tl;dr bf said that he isn’t romantically attracted to me despite us not being sexually intimate before? What can I do to fulfill him?
19 comments
>What can I do to fulfill him?
What? You don’t. Stop wasting time on someone who isn’t attracted to you.
You deserve better I’m sorry,
You’d have a much easier time just leaving and finding someone who’s actually attracted to you.
Better question: why are you tolerating this level of disrespect?
If I discovered that a guy I was dating was jerking off on video and posting to twitter, what I can do to fulfill him would prob be the last thing on my mind. Is that considered normal now?
There are actually people jerking off on Twitter?
So you haven’t been romantically or sexually intimate with each other – what makes you think you are dating exactly?
Otherwise end this one, the guy straight out said he’s not into you.
him straight up saying that he’s never been romantically attracted to you and the fact that he’s declined being intimate with you on that basis kind of makes it sound like he was trying to break up with you. are you sure you’re actually still together with him? I think you need to straight up ask him if he wants to continue the relationship (and then ask yourself why YOU want to continue the relationship because this just seems like an unhappy situation that’s not going to get better if this is the state of things after only a month)
How did you “happen upon” a video on twitter of your bf jerking off? He censored his face so presumably he didn’t use his own account. Very strange.
Either way, respect yourself enough to dump him. Why is your response “how can I make him attracted to me?” rather than “boy bye?”
I would end it and move on. This doesn’t sound like some kind of challenge to take on.
It’s been a month, I’ve had a cold that lasts longer. Move on
Things probably are going very well with two of you but he is in a place in his life where he needs this external validation and he feels trapped in his life right now. This doesn’t mean he never loved you but it does mean that right now he is too coward to leave the relationship. You deserve someone who is crazy about you and who wouldn’t need to post their pp online for attention. Or at the very least, you deserve to be in a relationship where your partner isn’t harboring a second life that doesn’t involve you.
I know it’s hard and that it will take time. But you will need to leave this relationship for both of you to find happiness. You’re both very young, it’s possible that in the future you’ll find each other and be better matched. But right now he’s in a state of self exploration and you’re in a state where you want connection.
That must have sucked and was likely a huge blow to your confidence and self-esteem. Imagine if your closest friend came to you with the same story and asked, “what can I do to fulfill him?” Would you give them advice on how to keep someone who treated your friend like that? Or would you tell your friend that he doesn’t deserve them and they wished they could see what you see?
The sex doesn’t make someone attracted to you ….it happens before that in a relationship. If he is clearly saying he’s not attracted to you …then that says it all. Find someone who adores you! I promise it will happen when you least expect it. And don’t settle for any man that thinks its ok to post himself online when he’s meant to be in a relationship with you! You are worth more than that OP ❤️
It sounds like you are squarely in the friend zone. I’m sorry.
As someone who’s on the other side of your table at the moment, just leave, we don’t want YOU trying, that’s the thing, nothing you do will change the fact that we just don’t view you in a romantic or sexual way, you can’t force it, and if you do, congratulations you Forced somebody into something with you
My honest advice is just go, find someone who reciprocates your feelings and be happy
You were really hurt because he had never send you nudes before, not because he was jerking off on Twitter?! Excuse me, wtf?!
This is definitely a real post
He’s a 21 year old boy that gets enjoyment from posting vids of himself jacking off on a public platform and openly admits that he is not attracted to you…What part of that situation is appealing to you? Attraction is one of those things that is damn near impossible to create or improve on if it wasn’t there in the first place. This is a great opportunity to practice self-love by walking away from a situation that doesn’t make you feel good about yourself. Life is too short to waste time on people that don’t appreciate you.