We only started dating three days ago. I was cuddling with her when she asked me to fuck her. I told her I want to wait a little bit first but she said I was pussyteasing her kissing her forehead and cheeks, turning her on and then refusing to have sex. She told me she’d be really mad if I insisted on saying no so we did it. It was my first time. She is still annoyed with how I tried to say no though and told me this morning that I can never say no to her. She said she waited for years before we got together and I owe it to her to give her anything she wants since she waited so long. How do I make it up to her?
38 comments
Run
Your first time was under duress? Did she know it was your first time?
Make it up to her? I sincerely hope you’re joking. Your girlfriend is an entitled asshole. You never ‘owe’ anyone sex. You have the right to say no at any time, for any reason.
Run. You were coerced into sex, man. The fact that she’s telling you to never say no again says a lot. Take it from someone who was in a similar situation. When I was 18 (f, btw, if that matters) my boyfriend coerced me into losing my virginity to him (20). At first, I tried not to care, even though I wasn’t ready. Later in the relationship, his true colors showed. He drugged me when I said I didn’t want it and raped me while I was under the influence. He would tell me that the pain I experienced meant nothing to him, and every time I said no he would go at it harder.
What you want or don’t want is extremely important. For your girlfriend to push you like that was dead wrong. I see that you don’t want to make her out like the bad guy, but she took something from you that you can’t take back. Please get out of that before it gets worse and it’s an endless cycle.
You don’t have to make up to her. She straight up forced you to have sex and said she doesn’t give a fuck about your consent. I’m sorry your first time was under duress. You need to leave her now or at least go see a therapist that specialize in sexual assault/harassment.
I’m sorry this happened to you. I’ve been there before, and it can be very painful, conflicting, and confusing. My best advice here is to listen to what others are saying— this is someone who doesn’t respect your boundaries or care about your feelings, and is using emotional manipulation and coercion to take advantage of you. You don’t owe her anything, but you do owe yourself care and respect. Don’t let her treat you like this- I promise that there are people out there who will like you for who you are and will wait for when you’re ready. I’ll say this too, because I wish someone had said it to me— this isn’t what relationships are supposed to look like. And while breaking up will hurt, sticking around will hurt worse and leave wounds that will take a long time to heal.
You don’t do shit!! You don’t own her a damn thing! There’s nothing to make up! She’s a crazy bitch, imagine if the roles were reversed. You have the right to say no!!
Given that you like her a lot, I feel bad for you because there’s so many red flags here. On the small chance that you are miscommunicating what’s really going on, and maybe she means don’t tease her (which would be ok), but you need to put a boundary down right now. Say that you thought it over some more and you really want to be in the right mood before you have sex. Its ok to want to be in the mood first
You don’t make it up to her. You owe her nothing. You dump her for being so incredibly selfish and disrespecting your boundaries. She forced you into having sex you didn’t want, which is rape. Telling you that you are not allowed to ever say no to her again is rapist behaviour. This is toxic, controlling, and abusive. Run far and run fast.
I have a girl like that in my life and it’s constant boundary enforcing. I don‘t know how long she will stay in my life, but since she accepts the boundaries, she will stay for now.
I highly recommend to do the same if you want to stay healthy.
I’m glad the comments are almost unanimous. This is rape dude. You’re ALWAYS allowed to say no. You NEVER have to do anything you don’t want to. The fact that she ignored you telling her no and coerced you is a fat yikes, do not talk to her anymore flat out. Coming from the “maybe you guys should talk/work things out” guy, that’s waywayway past the line
Do not have sex until you’re ready. Just don’t. At the point your partner is getting mad, forcing you to do shiz and all, that’s manipulation. You’re young, you have plenty of time to meet a woman who will respect your feelings and boundaries. If it’s this bad after three days, imagine years of this. You owe her nothing and she’s not entitled to your body. Have some respect for yourself and let her go.
Run, dude. Fast
OMG! She forced you into having sex with her!!! Break up with her and block her!!!
No one owes anyone anything. Leave her ass she sounds controlling and no one should ever say that you are not allowed to say no to them.
1.Nobody owes sex to anyone
2. You said no, she kept pushing you to do it==> rape clear as the day.
3. You just lost your virginity with a girl that forced you to have sex, the fact that she is a girl doesnt mean that what she did is not wrong, pushing someone into sex is WRONG, she gaslighted you by saying she will be mad if you don’t do it, she threatened you so she could have sex, she manipulated you.
My oppinion is u just got in a toxic relationship with a manipulative woman, you are young I suggest you strongly to break up with her now when you don’t have feelings for her and its not too late,
its the best that you can do in this situation, the longer you keep having a relationship with her, the harder it will be for you to find the strenght to break up with her and live far away from a toxic person.
Your girlfriend is terrible. Sex should never be something you are pressured or guilted in to. You don’t owe anyone sex, not even if you’ve been turning them on or have made them wait for a certain amount of time. Men can and should say no if they are not ready or just not feeling it. And their partners should respect that no. Do you know what the healthy exchange here would have been. It would have been her making a move, you saying ’hey i want to wait’ and then her saying ’okay no problem’ and then you would have just continued cuddling. There would have been no anger, no her being annoyed, no discussion, no guilt tripping,… Your girlfriend is toxic.
Your girlfriend is terrible. Sex should never be something you are pressured or guilted in to. You don’t owe anyone sex, not even if you’ve been turning them on or have made them wait for a certain amount of time. Men can and should say no if they are not ready or just not feeling it. And their partners should respect that no. Do you know what the healthy exchange here would have been. It would have been her making a move, you saying ’hey i want to wait’ and then her saying ’okay no problem’ and then you would have just continued cuddling. There would have been no anger, no her being annoyed, no discussion, no guilt tripping,… Your girlfriend is toxic.
Absolutely under no circumstances continue to entertain this… childish woman. You were coerced and essentially raped, and your next steps should be to distance yourself immediately and understand that this was not your fault and you are by no means a bad person. She sounds insufferable and things will ONLY DECLINE FROM HERE. Trust me, there are much better women out there who will treat you with love and respect and not make you second guess your (correct) behavior of doing and saying what you truly feel. You didn’t want to have sex and she forced you.. is this really someone you want to be with long term?
You are young, and just getting started on relationships. Each relationship teaches you something. This one theaches you that when someone says ” that I can never say no to her”, it is time to move away from that person.
How would they feel if you say that to them?
How will the relationship be day by day if you cannot say no?
How one sided is that relationship?
Is that sustainable and a healthy sounding relationship?
Did that person have your well-being in mind? Does she have your best interest in mind, or just hers?
You are the one to evaluate the situation, and the risks you are facing. From an outsider and more experienced perspective, the red flags are all over the place. Dodge that bullet. You are better off on your own and available for others more mature and less self-centered.
3 days? Just delete her number lol
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
My brother in Christ, flee! This girl is no good! Listen here, **you don’t owe her shit!** And especially not sex!
What kind of person says that she waited for years to be with you, guilt-trips you into having sex and then acts so entitled? You are too young for that kind of shit. It will ruin your future relationships and your perception of what’s normal or not, I guarantee it. RUN
I see it’s a bit hard for you to imagine how wrong she is, so put a dear friend or family member in your position. If they said “My partner made me have sex when I didn’t want to and for the future I am never allowed to say no.” how would you feel for them? How would you feel about that partner? Claiming you owe it to her because of her unexpressed before attraction doesn’t cut it. In the criminal law book I’m studying there’s a case where a rapist tried to justify their actions by claiming their neighbors passed by on the street looking nicely dressed up every day and that made him feel some way. The book explicitly mentions this to not be a cause of justification, the crime still qualifying. Hope this clears it up.
She didn’t respect your choice to wait, she manipulated you into changing your decision, and then says you can never say no to her. This is three days in to the relationship!!! I think you need to really self reflect on whether this will be a healthy relationship for you.
You don’t make it up to her you GTFO this is not someone you want to spend your life with so there isn’t really a reason to keep dating is there?
No means no, regardless of gender/ sexuality.
Get away from her she’s no good
Red flag 🚩
she waited for years? how many years has she waited to have sex? since birth?? like wtf.. she’s 18 girl chill
Forget her. You are going to be miserable. 3 days and this already.
boys can get raped to, and you were, I’m sorry..please listen to all the people in the comments and think about yourself, do you really want to look back at these years of your life and first experiences and think of this?
I’ll bet someone’s dick. This never happened. This story came straight up from hentai plot.
>told me this morning that I can never say no to her.
She’s a rapist, dude. Run.
Your gf doesn’t understand basic consent. HUGE red flag.
So she pressured you into having sex against your will. Hmmm sounds like something. I’m forgetting the word. Help me out.
what the fuck, she forced you. if she is doing this after three days you started dating, i imagine in one, two months. run away before it’s too late
She must make it up to you, if she even can, that is. “You must never say no to me” doesn’t sound like s sympathetic person
Ummm, she’s an asshole. If a girl had posted this we’d be telling to get out, this is no different. Get out