I (19f) want to hookup w/ (30m)

35 comments

1. Not go then…?

2. Do you want to have your first time with him? It’s ok if you’re not ready

3. [removed]

4. If you don’t want to do it. Don’t. But don’t delay. Don’t hold off. It just makes it worse.

5. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do and you can certainly cancel on him if you’re feeling uncertain. You also can tell him you’re down to do some sexual stuff but not intercourse if that’s where your comfort level is at. His reaction to that will tell you a lot about him.

6. Do whatever you feel is safe and lies in your values. You are an adult now; you control your own decisions.

7. Are you worried about losing it or the guy you’re losing it with? If the first, then make sure he takes lots of time and make sure you’re ready and willing when the moment comes, you have to lose it sometimes, yes? If it’s the second then simply don’t go until you are sure.

8. Do it if you want to.

   Don’t do it if you don’t want to.

   Don’t assume good intentions, a good experience, or that the person will value you afterwards if it’s a 30m meeting a 19f from a dating app to have sex on day one.

9. I would recommend against hooking up with someone eleven years older than you when you’re 19. You’re at completely different places in your life and it already sounds like he’s taking control of the situation by booking a room before you’ve even agreed to anything.

   It’s your choice, but don’t do anything you’re uncomfortable with and if your boundaries aren’t being respected, leave.

10. Girl, no! Please do not do this. You will very likely regret it for the rest of your life.

    A 30 year old booking a hotel room for a 19 year old to take her virginity is quite gross and creepy.

11. A 30 year old guy that has 19 year olds in his age range is never a person worth dating or sleeping with.

12. The last time I did anything with a 19 year old was when I had just turned 21. There’s no reason for a 30 year old to eagerly volunteer for sex with a teenager.

13. Yeah nah just dont…not with a 30 year old creep

14. Your title says you want to and your text says you don’t, which one is it?

15. Bad idea

16. Booking a hotel room is a big, BIG red flag. Run and block him.

17. I wouldn’t even fuck a 19 year old and I’m 24. The fact that he’s so ready and willing to book a place without even meeting you makes me think he’s not gonna take it slow or listen to your boundaries. I feel like he just wants to use you for some sick virgin fantasy.

18. Why would he book a hotel room. Doesn’t he have a place to live. Besides the major creepy factor. This dude is cheating.

19. No no no no absolutely not

20. If you’re having second thoughts about it maybe follow the instinct. If you haven’t met him in person I’d be a bit apprehensive and I would recommend taking some precautions in letting people know where you are so that they are aware of the situation (if you do decide to go…)

    I wouldn’t recommend losing your virginity to someone who you don’t really know but it could be a decent experience. Just be safe.

21. This is a bad idea. It likely will not end well for you. Please seriously reconsider going thru with it.

22. I will never understand why virgins want a hookup and casual sex for their first time instead of an intimate relationship with a decent guy.

    How about dating someone, taking step after step and not rushing it?
    How about finding someone, that is closer to your age?
    How about not having casual sex for your first time?
    How about thinking ahead of time. What if you get pregnant? What if you fall in love with him? What if hes abusive and manipulative?
    You dont know this dude and you meet him at a “place he booked”. Doenst sound creepy at all. Why dont meet him first in a cafe or restaurant and get to know each other?
    Where does the obsession with losing your virginity to a stranger comes from?

23. Why girl, why? Please don’t do it, especially if you aren’t sure of his intentions. Q: Why is he booking a place? Does he not have a home? To me, that’s a red flag. Wait a little while longer on this one. Time always reveals the truth and I think you will be glad you did.

24. Go for it will be fun

25. “Losing your virginity” is often not as big a deal as people make it out to be. If it is a big deal to you it may be worth hitting pause to consider if this is the right move for you. Whether it’s your first time or not I would not let anyone pressure you into anything you don’t want.

    If you connect at a deeper level and are compatible don’t worry about his age and decide if he is the right partner for you.

    Hope this helps.

26. Please don’t, you’ll regret it

27. It’s okay if you WANT to do it – when I was 19 I was having sex with 30 year olds, I don’t regret it as I wanted sex and had fun but looking back now I’m older I do think it was potentially dangerous and that I was so young and naive.

    I lost my virginity when I was a teen with another teen and looking back that feels a bit healthier and positive.

    Don’t feel pressured, like you owe him it or that it has to be sex on the first date. He should respect you and your feelings fully for him to be worth considering 💕💕💕💕

28. Girl don’t do it!

29. If you’re making this post you’re hesitating. Don’t make your first sexual experience one tainted with not being 100% for it.

30. Text him that you changed your mind and that he’s too old for you. Block his number.

31. He probably booked a room so you don’t know where he lives. That way you can’t find him after whatever happens. You may end up getting pregnant, raped, murdered, ect…
    or he lives in his mom’s basement.
    Either way seems off to me.
    Trust your instincts!

32. Don’t go if you don’t want to. You owe him nothing.

33. Throw away account? So you’ve got an alt. I’m curious if you have browsed r/sex before where a variation of this question gets asked 6-10 times a day?

    You’re 19. Do what you want to do. Your title says you want to hook up with a 30 year old.

34. I’d say no don’t do it. But that’s my personal opinion.
    It should be with someone you care about.

35. I’m a 45 year old man who finds a variety of adult women attractive. If they’re 19, so be it. But attraction and action are two different things. I would never physically engage with someone that young. I believe that older adults have a natural instinct to either protect younger people or be advantageous towards them. If he’s not willing to protect your interests, be mindful of what he’s willing to take.