What is your opinion on your SO wanting you to take their surname?

5 comments

1. Nope. I want our partnership to be as equals, when my ex-wife and I married we hyphenated our last names together. When I get married again, I’m going to do the same thing.

2. I’m put off by the idea of him wanting that. It’s a weird thing for him to voice an opinion on. It’s *my* name. Unless he were saying, “I don’t want you to take my name but I would like to take yours.” Otherwise, let’s do what we want with our names, yes?

3. Women in my country don’t change surnames when they get married, so I would find it an extremely odd request. Even if I got married in a country where it is the norm or more common, I’d still reject the suggestion.

4. I personally wouldn’t. At this point in my life it would cause so many problems both professionally and personally. It’s just easier to keep my name.

5. I think it’s something that should be discussed, but the only person who gets to decide whether they change their name or not is themselves. My partner and I discussed it, and I chose to change my name. My partner didn’t pressure or push for that at all. We discussed making a new name, keeping our current names, or one taking the other’s name. After thinking it through, I decided to change mine to their last name.

   If an SO told me that this was a requirement for them and that my preferences weren’t important, then we’d have had a lot more work to do before I’d have agreed to marry them. That’s not an appropriate demand to make, so it would make me take a closer look at their respect for me as an individual person.