[Serious] How do you win a pissing contest?

15 comments

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2. I find the best way to win a pissing contest is not to get involved at all. If you get into a situation where someone is trying to challenge you, the best thing to do is to walk away. No one wins when it escalates to physical confrontations.

3. Push really hard. Just try not to shit

4. Take polonium tablets before the contest

5. Piss harder. But seriously I would walk away. Teeth are expensive and so is an assault charge.

6. “Ya you lost me dude I really don’t care”

7. Maximum consumption of water I would assume

8. I’m strong. I know this. The people I have fought know this. I don’t need to prove myself to anyone other than myself.

   As Rooselvelt said (maybe) “if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks at you, you’ll never reach your destination”

9. There’s an ideal answer and a complicated answer.

   In an ideal world, you’d walk away. Getting physical never solves anything, you look weak if you lose and you look like a dick if you win and no matter what the two of you will always have that fight between you so most likely you’ll never get along and it might cause more friction in the future.

   The complicated answer is, depending on your situation, walking away isn’t feasible. You may be in a situation where walking away just invites more conflict later on and that is a reality that a lot of people have to face. But there are ways to de-escalate without looking like you’re backing down. I’m a fan of using humor to deflect. If you play something off as a joke the other person looks like an idiot for taking it too seriously or just looks like a humorless dick. It doesn’t always work but it’s a good fallback.

   From my experience, it’s best to just not engage in the first place. It’s easy for people to get triggered and get defensive. Be the strong silent type. Don’t let little things rattle you. If someone says something stupid, let them be the idiot. Remember, you don’t have anything to prove to anyone. Don’t let someone else’s insecurity beat you down.

10. Drink lots of water

11. Push from the diaphragm, you should get an extra two feet in your stream easy, more if you regularly train abs

12. By not getting into one because you know your worth and it’s a waste of energy.

13. Either volume or distance.

14. You act like the challenge is beneath you and the other person is a child. Once you over-react, you’re a loser to everyone else, even if you win the pissing match. By not being provoked, you demonstrate that you don’t perceive the other person as a threat. Walking away with a confident smile is the best way to demonstrate this.

15. Well, walking away would be a forfeit, so you lose…, and devolving into violence is also a loss, because you were goaded into throwing the first punch.

    The only way to “win” is to outmaneuver your opponent into walking away or losing their composure. But to do that, you’ve got to throw some despicably below the belt comments at them.