What’s your cut off age for having children?

24 comments

1. I have several friends who had kids into their mid 40’s, and I haven’t heard any one of them express regret or downsides. Older people are usually more self-assured and financially sound, massive pros for having kids. The main question is energy level and such, anyone who takes care of themselves should be fine though.

2. I wouldn’t have children with a woman older than 35.

3. I wouldn’t want to have kids that late. I think I’d have a hard time keeping up. And I think I’d be stuck with morbid thoughts of dying while my kid is in their 20s. I know I wouldnt not have handled death of a parent well at that age.

   Then again, it there isn’t a “good” time to lose a parent. So what do I know.

   I’d say if you and your partner are up for it, go for it.

4. Personally? I wouldn’t have kids past 35 but I know that’s not a very popular opinion these days. I just know that just watching the older parents try to keep up with their kids when mine were in school made me happy I had mine young (youngest was born when I was 26). I can’t imagine dealing with a teenager in my 50s!

5. Not super excited?

   Methinks he’s not wanting to be a father… perhaps he shouldn’t be.

6. I know super fit guys in their mid 50’s who run 10 k’s a day just for fun and I know some guys in their late 20’s who just sit on the couch all day and do nothing.

   He’s got 25 years left before he’s even close to retirement age, look at your partner, is he an active , fit guy who doesn’t spend all his spare time in front of a screen with a beer in his hand? if so, then you have nothing to worry about, literally the only thing a 20 year old has over a 40 year old in the parenting game is energy levels, if he has that covered you’re fine, a 40 year old has more patience, more knowledge , more access to long term observations of the world and how things work, usually more money and less desire to just go out and party all the time rather than hang with his family or go watch his kid play soccer.

   edit – I’m 47, my youngest is 7 and super energetic and I have no trouble keeping up. By the time I’m too old to beat him at physical activities, he’ll be to old for it to matter anyway.

7. As a guy, 40 is my cut off. I don’t wanna be playing soccer or baseball in my late 50s

8. This sounds like more of an issue of if he wants to be a father than if 45 or 50 is too late.

   The only way to answer that is to have the uncomfortable conversation, unfortunately.

9. I would make sure he is 100% on board for it first. Also make sure you are able to afford 1) enough life and disability insurance 2) extra care required such as a nanny because in your 40s, you don’t have the energy for 3am feedings.

   We had our youngest child at 35. She is now 15. She is in competitive soccer and has weeknight practices as late as 11pm. When you have to be up at 7am the next day, it can get pretty tough as a 50 year old. He would be that much older.

   As long as you are prepared for the above, highly recommend have kids because they will be the best part of your life.

10. For what it’s worth, I know of exactly 2 late 20s-early 30s women who had kids with guys over 60 and the kids seem fine…

    But personally at 38, I can barely justify the effort necessary to date, let alone raise a kid. Not that I’m against it, if I found myself in a position where my gf was pregnant, I’d probably be ok with it, but I’m just not interested in going out of my way to have one.

    In all honesty, I’m more concerned about a kid having to grow up in this ***fuuuuuuuuuccccccked up world*** than I am concerned about it’s genetic health due to my (or the mother’s) age.

11. I had my last when I was 40. He’s is fix now and I love it. I’m tired..,,but loving it. My little bother had his first and second post 40

12. I’m 41 and my wife and I have a 1 yo. We are also planning another one in a couple of years.

    But I’m quite active physically and keep up with the kiddo.

13. Had my first car 38, second will probably be at 41. My parents had their last at 43 and 44. I’d be very hesitant myself with my wife over 40, but its entirely possible. For a guy, 47-50 is the top end of where I’d draw my own line. On the older side for sure, but sometimes being older helps people appreciate what they have even more. Personal opinion.

14. I’m 61. My daughter is 8. You do the math, but I’m done now, snip snip

15. I definitely wouldn’t want to have one older than 35. Which is unfortunate because that’s definitely not happening.

16. 45 is the absolute cutoff for me in terms of really going for it because I need to start a family or bust. 40 is the cutoff of ages I’d feel good about. But it’s hard to say. One of my biggest mentors, including in the realm of the kind of parent I’d want to be, had a kid in his early 50s and it’s worked out for him 18 years later. I just feel like you start risking mortality at an age your kids can’t handle it if you start past 45.

    For reference my parents were 42 and 45 when they had me. I never felt deprived for it. In my 30s they are in their 70s and only just starting to feel elderly.

17. I don’t think you should be under 18.

18. 40 is fine for becoming a dad. Slightly less energy, slightly more wisdom & patience, vs a younger age.

19. I don’t think he wants kids..he wouldn’t had waited this long. Talk to the man so you don’t waste each others time

20. It completely depends on the person, and probably somewhat how they picture having kids (and possibly if they’ve even thought through the future implications, like how it would be to have a difficult teenager when you’re in your 60s).

    From what you just wrote, the first question I would be asking if I were you is “does he WANT kids?”. After that maybe follow up with a conversation about time frames.

    My personal cutoff for dating with that intent was 42, figuring I’d want to spend a couple years getting to know a partner before having kids, and that I’d want my kids to be well out of high school before I am “retirement age”.

21. I’m 42 and could go again. We’ve got three, so it’s not happening, but 40 is no age at all if he’s active and healthy. Plenty of the dad’s at school are five or 10 years older than me, no issues.

    It’ll depend on the guy. You’re in a relationship so maybe this needs to be a conversation higher up your priority list.

22. I’m 37 this year and I would have kids now over than my 20’s any day of the week. My parents were 37 when they had me coincidently.

23. I’m 37 this year and I would have kids now over than my 20’s any day of the week. My parents were 37 when they had me coincidently.

24. I’m 37 this year and I would have kids now over than my 20’s any day of the week. My parents were 37 when they had me coincidently.