This post is partially about my current relationship, and partially about a reoccurring theme of falling out of love.
My partner and I have been dating for half a year and I’ve never felt a stronger emotional connection with someone before. Clear communication, respect for boundaries, interests align, ect. She’s wonderful. I feel like I woke up one day and I just wasn’t into the relationship anymore, and I am so confused. The week prior we had the best sex we’ve had, and maybe that I’ve ever had.
The reoccurring theme is that I’ve found myself in this position multiple times with great people and partners. I fall out of love with people I to this day still miss, but can’t seem to fall back in love.
This is frustrating on multiple levels, because I keep feeling like I’m throwing away great relationships, and I know that this hurts the other people involved (unintentionally, however it’s still a bi-product).
Has anyone else experienced this? Does anyone have advice on falling back in love? I find myself longing for how I felt before but just trying to feel that way doesn’t work.
Sorry if my format is weird, I’ve never posted in this subreddit before. Thanks in advance for at the very least letting this be a place I can get this off my shoulders and perhaps talk about it.
5 comments
Maybe deep down you just want to be single so when you feel you’re too attached you purposely push back to give yourself some space.
This makes no sense to me. Do you wake up and just decide to not be friends with one of your friends for no reason?
Your girlfriend who you claim to love, should also be your best friend and your rock. Someone you can confide in. Sounds like this girl isn’t that person.
Ultimately you just sound confused. You should do some work inside and figure out what you want and what you’re not getting. Be critical – you’re asking questions that only you can answer.
When the infatuation wears off, the excitement wears off, and then it is boring to you,again.
You are addicted to the infatuation phase and the pleasurable hormone cocktail it produces. Unless you can move on from infatuation to the normal LTR phase, the cycle will continue and you will not progress in life’s normal stages.
Have you figured out if there is a trigger to that switch? How long do most of these relationships last before the kill-switch kicks in?
You have some intimacy issues. You should probably explore with a counselor. You’re also young but if it’s a reoccurring theme, it’s an issue and that’s the only place I can think of that will help you find answers.