That’s my first post on reddit, and I’m not an english native speaker, so be kind please..
TL;DR; : I don’t understand a F colleague, she’s giving contradictory signals.
So, there is this colleague (30s F), whose behavior troubles me.
At work, I do not work with her much, and when I work with her, it’s just the usual talk about engineering work.
The fact is, on one hand, she’s very professional, and seems to have much questions about me during the rare moments we talk together, but on the other hand, she stares at me, laugh and always maintains a strong eye contact with me every time I see her, when I walk in a corridor, or when working with her, fixing her hairs, looking at my lips etc, but she will totally ignore me when she is with her others colleagues. Even some of my others colleagues (M) tell me that based on the way she stares at me; I should definitely try something.
To add to the contradiction, a couple of days ago, outside, while I was taking the train back home after work, she had to take the same train.She saw me from the other end of the platform, 20 meters away, we both acted like we did not see each other, and she turned her back to me.
To describe myself, I am a quite shy guy, professional, who is pretty mediocre in understanding people feelings, and this pikes especially when it comes to non-verbal language, which led to (many) embarrassing moments in my life. On the other side, I am a very active person, training in swimming, lifting and cycling up to 9 times a week, and I taking care of the way I dress.
My “condition” does not help me much, and I feel like I am blind when the others can see something
What would be your opinion about this situation ?
2 comments
I personally wouldn’t get involved with someone I work with or I’d advise probably ignoring any signals from a coworker unless you didn’t care about the job itself.
She could be interested but the only way to know is to ask her or something. Invite her to lunch or coffee and feel out her reaction to that. Do you want to pursue her or what is it you are interested in here?
I agree with the other commenter, I wouldn’t get involved until you are actually leaving. She may be just being polite and not want to be anything more than coworkers. The ignoring may be shyness, I’m a shy person too and I have definitely done that.
If you really want to try, when you are on your last day working for the company give her your personal number and let her know you aren’t working there anymore and if she wants to hang out sometime you would be down to get dinner or coffee.