I was drinking/ having a good time with a close friend of mine the other night and as we were both leaving the venue I went to give her a hug good by. I could tell she was leaning in for a kiss, but I did not reciprocate. I kind of left in a hurry after that and I could see the sadness on her face. We are both single, but I am just not attracted to her that way. I am also not a “fuck boy”… A lot of my friends keep saying I should have hooked up, but I don’t like to toy with other peoples emotions, especially if I don’t feel that way about someone. Do I acknowledge or say something or should I just leave it alone? I feel bad because I can empathize with feeling lonely and she is also a close friend. I don’t want to ruin what we already had.
6 comments
Has you attitude changed at all?
If not. Leave it alone and just take one on one drinking off the venue.
It is worth talking about to clarify the relationship. But gently?
I think if you’re interested in maintaining the friendship you gotta be the one to reach out. She’s mortified right now. Don’t acknowledge it, but maybe send a bit of a “I want to pretend everything is normal” text or what have you.
You mentioned she is a close friend…
Has she tried to initiate a kiss in the past and/or expressed any feelings toward you? It’s possible she has a crush on you.
And then there is the possibility that she was just horny. Sometimes people get that way. Especially when out drinking. Inhibitions are lowered.
Have you texted or talked since the incident?
Just keep treating her like a close friend. Pretend you didn’t notice she was leaning in for a kiss. For all you know you may have misread the situation to begin with. Just act normal. She’ll know you value her as a friend and get over the sting a lot quicker if you’re treating her same as always.
I’d probably leave it alone but if you sense awkward tension maybe talk about it
You sounds like a good dude and I think if you wanna continue the friendship, go ahead and address it. Make sure you guys are good and carry on as usual just Understand though, it’s not your job to soften her feelings of rejection, it happens to everyone. if you’re not interested ur just not interested and that should be respected