This is long I’m sorry. My husband and I have 2 kids together. My in laws live about 10 minutes away. I work when my son gets off the bus so my in laws were getting him from the bus stop. They loved doing it and my son loved seeing them. In a span of 4 months they forget to get him twice. The first time we got lucky I was able to catch the bus the second time he was being taken back to school. Their reason behind the second time was that they were both trying to gets ants out of their boat and simply forgot. As a result my daughter is now getting her brother off the bus.
On the day this first started I went out with her to the bus to tell the driver who to look for. My husband was supposed to tell his parents not to get him that day. He was too busy to do it. When we got to the bus stop grandpa was there waiting. I didn’t know what to do or say. Instead of the normal hi and hug we stopped short behind him and started talking. When he saw we were there he was surprised. I told him I was there to have the bus driver know that my son can be released to his sister in case they forgot again. He said that was a good idea he guessed. He then turned back away from us and starting making fists with his hands. He angrily turned around and said to me he was sorry they forgot they had an emergency. An emergency? Ants on your boat is an emergency? He turned around again now tensing up even more. My daughter and I continued to talk. He interrupted us angrily again and said I’m sorry we pissed you off this much.
I am not sure if he heard me but I told the bus driver that she would be picking her little brother up going forward. My daughter was closer than my father in law and she couldn’t hear me so I think he didn’t. When I was done talking to the bus driver he was half way to his car. I heard him say no one talks to grandma anymore. We followed him back to our house he hugged my kids and gave us our garage door opener back and left.
When he left he called my husband and said he had never been so insulted in his entire life. He will take his boat off our property and never see us again. At the time I told my husband what happened and he believed me and told his parents they need to get over it. He is not going to divorce me. The boat is still here and my husband has been visiting them lately.
Tonight my husband during an argument told me that they won’t even come over to our house anymore unless he invites them and they hate me. He then started accusing me of putting a wedge in between his parents and him. My husband has been very easy to irritate lately since he has been going over to see them. It’s like I always do something wrong. Heaven forbid I am in a crackly mood or don’t do what he asks the second he asks. For example I started an argument according to my husband when he decided to do the taxes at 9:30 at night while I was so tired I just wanted to go to bed. Because when he asked me for the registration papers for the cars I didn’t get up and do it. That’s how I started the argument.
I think they are manipulating him to act like this towards me. He told me tonight that he wants me to be the bigger person and make things right. I know they are stubborn and will hate me for a long time. It took me 3 years to get them to stop being rude to me and warm up. Then this happened. I know if I don’t my marriage will crumble. I don’t even know what to say to them. Any advice on that? My question with my husband is is he being manipulated and should I be forced to apologize to someone who threw an adult temper tantrum? I know they are making my husband insane over this and for that I should make his life easier but at the same time it’s ridiculous what happened and why I have to apologize. Any advice on how to handle my husband during this time too?
1 comment
Your in-laws sound like a handful. You should Just call them and tell them you wanted to introduce the bus driver to your daughter that day. They probably feel like you were being petty and think you were trying to make it seem like they are constantly forgetting to pick him up. Say you didn’t mean to insult them and that it was a misunderstanding. Because your kids enjoy seeing them maybe limit their pickups to one or two specific days. That could also give your daughter a break from picking him up. If not just tell them they are welcome at your home and you didn’t mean for it to get blown out of proportion.
There wasn’t really a clear line of disrespect so I don’t think this should be something to stew over. Also your husband probably feels like your being stubborn but that’s no excuse to be passive aggressive with you.