So, I’m awkward as shit, not that confident in social situations so I mostly avoid it. With my family, friends and people I’m comfortable with I can be chill and be myself. But with people I don’t know so well it’s hard. I see people at work talking and laughing with each other and it’s like everyone has their own little script, they know what to say. Meanwhile there’s me never knowing what to say so I just avoid people and get on with working without saying a word for hours sometimes. And when I do talk it’s like I talk like a frikin robot. I gotta force myself to actually speak using normal tones. Anyway yeah just wanted to rant.
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I relate to you a lot here, you’re not alone. When I’m not comfortable with someone, my brain doesn’t provide me with anything to say, so I either awkwardly laugh a little, or give a one or two word response. It physically hurts me inside lol. Then I see other people communicating with each other, all friendly and cordial and I’m like, how???
My awkward years were from 15 to 35. I’m in my 50s now and this is what I would say to me. Listen to the song “ Everybody’s Free to Wear Sunscreen” by Bas Luhrmann … straight science!
The discomfort you are feeling is because you want to speak, it’s because you want to fit in with them.
You must kill that want first. When you speak truth, when you speak what you really want to say, everyone will listen. If you don’t know what to say, don’t say anything, it’s very normal. Don’t think that I must say something. That’s where the problem begins.