Women working in social work/victims services: what kind of emotional aftercare do you practice after work?

4 comments

1. My last job was working with survivors of human trafficking. After not taking care of myself enough and getting to a dark place, I learned what worked for me. I would immediately change into something that gave me the feeling I wanted (cozy, cute, sexy, etc), but I always imagined any emotional baggage still clinging to me falling off with my clothes. I put a line item in my personal budget for Lush products and treated myself at least once a week to a luxury bath where I read books that made me feel good. I realized sitting around watching tv for hours on end didn’t actually help me feel better, so I worked to develop the hobbies I had been setting aside because I was “too busy”. My tv watching then became about the shows I was excited for, which meant tv time was more fulfilling. I added rituals to everything to help me be mindful of what I was doing, and give myself the built in space to acknowledge if I was still carrying work baggage around. For example: As I step into my shower, I put a hand on my heart, breathe in the steam, list 3 things I’m grateful for, and then create space to explore anything making me feel poorly. I read the book “Unfuck Your Life” which helped me learn how to prioritize even my relaxation time. I used the reminders app on my phone to record work things that pop into my head, but I scheduled them to go off the next day while at work so I could handle them there. I got a counselor when things got too bad, and there was a season where I relied on anti-depressants to support me.

   Take care of yourself at all costs, Jasmyntea, because there’s only one of you, and the world needs you. Be mindful of where your inner thoughts are and do whatever helps you recharge.

2. Enjoying the drive home, eating a nice sandwich, music, my massage chair

3. None, really.

4. I used to raise money for a nonprofit that helped abused and neglected children as well as a nonprofit that primarily served developmentally disabled adults — so definitely not socal work but writing about it daily and, in the latter case, the clients were onsite.

   My balm was the success stories. Honestly meeting or learning of clients who had gone on to do well was a huge win for me and kept me in this kind of work for 10+ years before I went corporate. I would read these stories when I felt down or whenever I heard the opposite of a success story.

   I also really had to have a work life balance at those jobs. I never checked my work email or notifications after I left for the day because I needed the time off to decompress or I’d go insane and dream of terrible things happening to children.

   I also had unhealthy habits… I drank a lot when I was in that career and I was very depressed a lot of the time. Going to a “happier” nonprofit eventually *had* to happen because I wasn’t coping well and was burning out and I wasn’t even 30. I heard a truly disgusting story of a developmentally disabled adult who’d been sexually assaulted at work and she didn’t even know about it because she had never been taught sex ed. It was seriously just like an episode of SVU and it was horrible. I got a job at a college a few weeks later. I have so much fucking respect for social workers and people who do that work for life. Y’all are heroes.